Love, Intimacy, Sex, Bodyshaming and Awkward: Classic dude moment

Classic dude moment

By Two hundred down - 06/08/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband hasn’t touched me in ages. I bought sexy lingerie and walked around the house in them. My husband wouldn’t budge. When I asked him why he didn't want to get physical, he told me, “You want me to be honest? Do some sit ups and butt squats, then I’ll be all over you like cheese on macaroni.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 275

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Same thing different taste

Smooth talking

By ...thanks honey - 18/08/2010 06:23 - United States

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 621

You deserved it 15 055

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 23:50 - United States - Parker

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 928

You deserved it 7 677

Benny Goodman classic

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 17:00 - United States

Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 178

Are you kidding me right now?

By Not your maid - 29/03/2023 16:00

Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 140

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 306

You deserved it 4 750

By szinna - 07/06/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bed caressing myself. He walked in, looked at me, and said, "Is the ground beef in the freezer still good?" When I answered yes, he turned and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 112

You deserved it 6 805

What is it with these dudes?

By Pancake butt - 16/09/2023 00:02

Today, I saw my husband comment on a celebrity’s Instagram post that he would “eat her ass like a cupcake.” I’ve asked him to do the same to me once and he told me wasn’t into eating ass. So when I called him out on it, he replied, “Maybe if you did squats and worked out that pancake butt of yours, I would.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 814

You deserved it 9 037

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 246

You deserved it 7 781

Belly Finger

By ihmmil - 18/01/2020 14:00

Today, my husband was trying to be sexy, and asked me if I wanted to sit on his "Belly Finger". Major mood kill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 473

You deserved it 325

ahabsfan 14

Monday 7 August 2023 4:23

Trying to spice up the marriage, that’s big of you.

Doom_Kitty 12

Monday 7 August 2023 15:15

Ahhh the great "hanging balls, lighting hair, crumpled ass but you're not looking like a super model for me" discussion. Love it.

Comments

ahabsfan 14

Monday 7 August 2023 4:23

Trying to spice up the marriage, that’s big of you.

lq87 2

Monday 7 August 2023 5:51

my husband called me fat and lazy a few months ago during an argument, so I totally understand

MajikNerd 1

Monday 7 August 2023 6:23

My wife does the same. Maybe we should be friends. I completely understand!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 7 August 2023 9:29

By using an analogy like that, I'm guessing he's not exactly a beanpole himself.

Doom_Kitty 12

Monday 7 August 2023 15:15

Ahhh the great "hanging balls, lighting hair, crumpled ass but you're not looking like a super model for me" discussion. Love it.

SylvarLorali 4

Monday 7 August 2023 18:58

Wow... thats cold and nasty. My advice? lose 100kgs in a flash and dump his ass.

anonabri 3

Tuesday 8 August 2023 8:07

divorce

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I was on the subway. I have fairly serious OCD, so I avoided holding the poles or handles. All the seats were taken, so I leaned against a wall. At the next stop, an obese, sweaty man got on and grabbed the two poles around me, effectively hugging me. My shirt was wet when he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 524

You deserved it 6 008

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 409

The Top

Today, I dropped my daughter off at a concert where she was performing and went to look for parking. I got caught in freak traffic and it took me an hour to get back there. I missed her act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 748

You deserved it 1 536

Today, and ever since my parents started watching "Love on the Spectrum", they've have been trying to play matchmaker with me and the women on the show, since I'm autistic and single. Unfortunately, they've been unsuccessful. The universe is dropping hints - hints that I will probably remain painfully single for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 150

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 883

You deserved it 69 050

Today, I was in a bus headed to another city and fell asleep as did everyone else. I must've woken up last, because I half-snorted as I woke up and everybody heard. Now we’re on a coffee break and I can see them all snicker about it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 161

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had sex with my sister, but it's ok because I'm better in bed. He seriously doesn't understand why I dumped his sorry ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 973

You deserved it 2 215

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 218

You deserved it 20 504