Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, when I logged onto Facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
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Top comments
catchyscreename 0
Oh. DAMN you totally walked into that one.
andyn 0
YDI for posting lyrics as your facebook status you ******* twat.
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Comments (233)
Music_rocks 7
I love Blue October, but I don't think you should quote from songs as your FB status or whatever other websites. You're upset, I get that, but what you should be doing is coping with this in a better way. Showing your emotions on the internet is usually asking for trouble. Your friends didn't act very nice though and neither did your ex but that's not your problem. OP, I really hope you feel better soon.
RPGod 0
She zinged ya good.
HondaGirl2010 0
LOL Your ex is funny =]]
gargoyle666 5
Women have orgasms? Who knew? Who cares?
voveraite 7
Trolling attempt fail :D
gargoyle666 5
Because of course expressing an opinion is classed as trolling.
shaZamy 0
wow what a bitch. good thing you broke up with her bitch
cherlana32 0
Lyric statuses are only ok if they have nothing to do with what you are feeling/are amusing. Emo ones are just irritating as ****.
rayrayy_fml 0
@44 That was intense.
woah_dang_baby_fml 0
Your girlfriend is probably just a bitch. Sorry kid.
SDguy 0
YDI. grow up dude !! if there's something any woman can say to make us feel bad is That we suck on bed. if you thought your FB status would get her back your such an Idiot. good luck next time. Block her from your FB right away, it's just gonna get worse...
intrepid00 0
Respond with this joke. Q. How long does it take for a woman to orgasam? A. Who cares?