By JazzSpazz - 11/08/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 911
You deserved it 24 116
May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

andyn 0

YDI for posting lyrics as your facebook status you ******* twat.

128 25

Comments

f_u_u_f_f 0

she was just trying to piss you off. the breakup probably sucks for her also.

4 1
joshizzle3 1

i hate facebook FMLs. YDI for not lying and said it happened in real life

0 4
Flounder 2

You can't "like" a comment of a comment, you can only like the original comment. So to add that last part to your story is deliberately misleading. Plus you sound like a whiny bitch anyway.

3 4
mozrox 0

Exactly! I was just about to say that.

1 1
Vilen1025 0

YDI for being emo.

0 3
mekeskidi_fml 0

That's a smart and hilarious reply. You should try to get back with your ex.

11 1
linksplayer 0

Now that you an Becky broke up, do you mind if I ask her out?

6 2
letitbe56 0

Your private life does not belong on facebook. YDI. Also, song lyrics as your status? What are you, 15?

3 3
brianjman14 22

Hey! I'm 15, and that's insulting! But yeah, I agree. I hate when people set lyrics as status's on Facebook.

1 0
Ub3r_Crippl3 0

YDI for being one of those emos that posts lyrics as your status. STFU with the lyrics people!

0 3
FlaminYawn 0

There's no better sound than a girl having a screaming ****** while ur poundin' her with some good ****. The kind that leaves her right leg twitchin' when ur done. But dude, there's no reason u can't give a girl an ****** with at least ur hands. I met a girl a few years ago who was 23 and had never had one, and even said her ex had a huge ****, and I told her I could give her one. She came over and I gave her one in less than 2 minutes with just my fingers, we never had sex. To this day she thanks me when she sees me cuz now she can have them. Be in tune with the moment, don't treat it as something strictly physical, put urself in her mindstate and think "what would I love right now" and do that. It's not just her body ur giving an ******, it's her mind, body and soul, treat it that way, be in the moment, focus, and u will achieve it...

8 3
Plumppotato 3

you are a god amongst men. you are a god amongst gods. you are my hero. i plead my allegiance to you. guide me in the way of finger banging. but seriously. thats kind of impressive.

4 2