Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML
Today, my phone decided to delete all my numbers. I posted on Facebook that people should message or text me if they felt like I should have their number. I didn't get a single reply. FML
Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML
Today, I saw the girl I had started dating changed her Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". Naturally, I changed mine too. The next time I logged on, she had commented, "Really?! Who?!" She was serious. FML
Today, I asked a girl I liked for her number, but she claimed she had a broken phone and was getting a new one for Christmas. Unhinged, I go home and go onto Facebook. First thing I see is her status: "Why is no one answering my calls?" FML
Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML
Today, I saw the girl I like had posted a status on Facebook, saying, “I’m sick of being lonely, why don’t any guys wanna date me?! I think I’m gonna spend my life alone.” I asked her out once and she turned me down. When I commented this fact on her post proving her statement untrue, she blocked me. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
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Top comments
BlindyMcGee 2
Go buy the eggs, I'll drive.
jojimugo 20
Just write under the comment " nobody texts you because you are a bitch"
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Comments (157)
BlindyMcGee 2
Go buy the eggs, I'll drive.
RaggleFrock 13
She sounds like a real nice catch. Needy. Self involved.
gamercanadian 11
That b&@*# dw OP u'll find someone better, she jus wants attention cause no one cares about her anymore
Michael_92 20
Guess I'll go put my torture devices away :(
girl112891 7
She just wants attention from what she considers "cool" people. Maybe from some shallow jerks. Start liking girls who'll appreciate you!
nahgemoohc 17
She's a loser. No one puts that as their status!! OP, don't condemn yourself by liking someone like that. I'm pretty sure you can do much better!
Discombobulated9 12
I wouldn't worry too much about taking revenge; all of her friends aren't texting her, probably because they're fed up with her being a complete bitch. So, she's only punishing herself. Heartless people never prosper.
peteyfas 8
Steve Jobs?
ImInYourFACEbook 8
38- You never know what people might put up as their status now a days. Facebook is a weird and crazy world.
nahgemoohc 17
61- true. But it's the people in the place that make it crazy. I mean, who would feel normal about advertising their friendlessness for all to see?
xxxasaxxx 0
Lmao xD
omgdoublefml 3
Dubs I'll drive, why not drift in a evo?
tobin22 9
Haha best comment i read in awhile its funny because its simple love it
blushy 14
you shouldn't waste your time on her anyway
ucoolgirl31 20
What a bitch...
SkoomaKi 28
What a bitch.
Pentium_4 27
attention ***** :/
nephilim241 19
As soon as I read this I said what #2 typed.. What a nasty piece of work.
WellApparently 2
#2 & #29 agreed, nothing else to say but "what a bitch"
123josie123 11
What crawled up her ass and died? Forget her, you deserve better OP!
ThatOneCanadian 0
thats why no one texts her.
Jakesterk96 8
Keep commenting her post.
noobgang7 5
This is exactly why nobody texts her anymore. She's a worthless bitch
downtime 13
I smiled when I re-read the FML and noticed the past tense used in the word "liked". At least he learnt to move on from this idiot.
downtime 13
I smiled when I re-read the FML and noticed the past tense used in the word "liked". At least he learnt to move on from this idiot.
forever12 8
I deffinatly said that when I read this as well.
The_Hitdude 12
*definitely Why do so many people find this word so difficult to spell? You're not using less words by spelling it wrong (ex: u, ur, etc.).
kittyx33 0
#136 I think they honestly just don't know how spell the word. Not that they're trying to make it shorter
louiseth 9
Nice use of the word "liked". Good job. :)
indielove 13
She sounds like an attention seeking bitch.
tellithowitis 13
Just blow her phone up!
ClassyCommando 13
Just delete the comment, OP to avoid further humiliation.
SeaMen 3
73 did u even read the whole fml?
ClassyCommando 13
Never mind the FML has been edited.
Cassro92 16
Bitch.
cheerbabe3254 4
I kno rite I feel so bad
RrLSf19 0
4 I love your pic!
DreBeezy 9
All the ***** wanted was some ******* attention.
ShansAl 21
Tough break.
Snafuusmc 12
Kick her in the taco!
SwiftFaux 0
punch her in the throat
cosmosis 12
Hmmm seems reasonable... Kids these days. Just have no idea...
zingline89 18
Kids these days? Says the guy whose profile says "Faggots, quit checkin out my account!"
SoFlyJohn 0
True...
lilogic 0
Lol umm why the throat??
iranoutofnames 6
Why not?
XanderJayNix 17
Some chix are major dix!
jojimugo 20
Just write under the comment " nobody texts you because you are a bitch"
XanderJayNix 17
Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit
Dflips 0
#8 knows whatsup
A100893 30
Insensitive heifer.
IrishSoulja 4
Don't bother with her if she's being that much of a bitch