By apparently-a-shed - United Kingdom - Worcester Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 28361 You deserved it 3247 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jesspie - United Kingdom Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 19216 You deserved it 38153 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ToiletProblems - United States - Northbrook Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML I agree, your life sucks 2017 You deserved it 439 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By epistaxis - Australia Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 43256 You deserved it 2624 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By What the fuck, son? - Netherlands - Amerongen Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML I agree, your life sucks 46333 You deserved it 7804 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Stoner Logic Today, I've been sleeping with my drug dealer from high school who I still buy pot from for the past week. He made me go down on him a few days ago and he smelled funny but I didn't say anything. Today, he told me he only showers 2-3 times a month and he thinks he's a genius for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 3152 You deserved it 11112 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Laura - United States Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML I agree, your life sucks 48534 You deserved it 6188 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 02:03 Bambi 2: Electric Boogaloo Today, I came downstairs to find that our dog's six puppies, who have their own puppy-door to go outside whenever they want, had peed and pooped all over the floor, walked through the pee, and were now happily chewing on a half-rotten deer's head which they had dragged inside. FML I agree, your life sucks 810 You deserved it 261 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I spent an hour writing 80 thank you cards to everyone who attended my graduationg party. After carefully personalizing each one and sealing them shut, I realized I did not mark the envelopes with names. FML I agree, your life sucks 18516 You deserved it 47275 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML I agree, your life sucks 30417 You deserved it 2989 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML I agree, your life sucks 42515 You deserved it 10654 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unhappy - United States - San Anselmo Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML I agree, your life sucks 23923 You deserved it 3934 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whitefox123 - United States Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML I agree, your life sucks 17486 You deserved it 45387 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By morningeyes - United States Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 18069 You deserved it 94880 333 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML I agree, your life sucks 4073 You deserved it 285 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sarika - United States - Appleton Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML I agree, your life sucks 24884 You deserved it 2348 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grossedoutgirlfriend Not so normal, no Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML I agree, your life sucks 2141 You deserved it 303 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MAWZ - United States Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML I agree, your life sucks 34530 You deserved it 5129 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML I agree, your life sucks 73805 You deserved it 5264 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flowerging - United States - Stony Brook Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML I agree, your life sucks 44396 You deserved it 16216 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Muffinhater - United States Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML I agree, your life sucks 28245 You deserved it 2420 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 19kwhatever - United States - Mount Vernon Today, I told my family I'm going shopping with my friend "Emma". My sister's been teasing me about this saying, "Emma can't exist! She's not real! You don't have any friends." She's right. FML I agree, your life sucks 47731 You deserved it 14414 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous My stupidity Today, I got my period and went clubbing. I had to change my tampon and stupidly I only brought one, when I unwrapped it, it fell on the floor, I had to wait in the girl's bathroom for 45 minutes for a random girl to give me a spare. FML. I agree, your life sucks 1716 You deserved it 719 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By burnt - Australia - Middle Swan Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML I agree, your life sucks 25036 You deserved it 3328 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Paducah Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML I agree, your life sucks 27916 You deserved it 4265 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By -_- - United Kingdom - Birmingham Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML I agree, your life sucks 52664 You deserved it 7531 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 49125 You deserved it 7424 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By invasive species Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML I agree, your life sucks 12601 You deserved it 728 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous No internet, just cuddles Today, my cat decided that the best place for her to pee was over the surge protector where my modem, router, and printer are plugged in. FML I agree, your life sucks 1431 You deserved it 191 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/2/2020 14:00 Bad liar Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 1607 You deserved it 228 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eeh - United States Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML I agree, your life sucks 30577 You deserved it 103229 254 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Yeoman - New Zealand Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML I agree, your life sucks 37134 You deserved it 7070 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML I agree, your life sucks 37311 You deserved it 2643 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Marjorie - Canada - Toronto Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 31107 You deserved it 3406 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Redding Today, I found out that someone I once babysat got a girlfriend before I did. FML I agree, your life sucks 13196 You deserved it 1582 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Bend Today, I had a feminine emergency. After scrounging up 4 quarters to use the machine in the women's bathroom, it dispensed a diaper. FML I agree, your life sucks 8252 You deserved it 739 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By evelynn - France Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML I agree, your life sucks 39915 You deserved it 8132 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By taiannalynn5 Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML I agree, your life sucks 32882 You deserved it 7729 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Mexico Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML I agree, your life sucks 31183 You deserved it 7937 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML I agree, your life sucks 29915 You deserved it 3429 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RoadRunnerZ | 13 #7705853 - Tuesday 9 October 2018 1:11 Fuck was the point of building that shit it had not support and you didn’t cement shit Send a private message 11 0 Reply
By wanted_2_want | 40 #7705900 - Tuesday 9 October 2018 6:10 “Cheap labor isn’t skilled...” Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By RoadRunnerZ | 13 #7705853 - Tuesday 9 October 2018 1:11 Fuck was the point of building that shit it had not support and you didn’t cement shit Send a private message 11 0 Reply
By wanted_2_want | 40 #7705900 - Tuesday 9 October 2018 6:10 “Cheap labor isn’t skilled...” Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By bluhbluhbluh | 14 #7705949 - Tuesday 9 October 2018 8:14 I've never built a wall but I'm still certain that's not how it's done. Send a private message 3 0 Reply
Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the... I agree, your life sucks 36 You deserved it 6 0 Comments
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 652 You deserved it 139 4 Comments