Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML
Today, at work, a drunk demanded a salad dressing we don't have. He marched into my kitchen and demanded I make it for him. When I said we didn't have the ingredients, he pushed the microwave over and stormed out. My boss came in and wrote me up for being "pushy and rude to customers". FML
Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it, so she did it herself. FML
Today, I got written up for insulting a customer last week, who then rang up to complain about my bad attitude. I was on vacation all last week. My boss doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I got written up with a final warning because I ''drink alcoholic beverages'' at work. I was drinking Root Beer. FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I "didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML
Today, a student told me to "F*** off!" I reported it to my boss and the student's parent, who is also a teacher at the school. My boss deemed it a minor issue and said we wouldn't be following discipline policy. Now, my boss frequently visits my classroom to bully me, likely due to the two of them being drinking buddies. FML
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Top comments
pickwick716 0
You made a fine drink and imma let you finish, but your colleague made one of the greatest drinks of all time!
Pandasaur 0
At least your boss is honest.
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Comments (99)
BikerMike 0
sounds like discrimination to me
Monado 0
At least you have a reason to sue someone.
SheriffBart 0
Goddammit. I was just getting my hopes up that no moron had suggested he sue, then two of you go and do it in the span of four comments. ****.
allie2590 31
Because whenever things get tough, people just sue each other rather than dealing with the problem themselves.
MarkO_fml 0
The stupidity in here amazes me. Get it straight, morons. First, your boss not liking you is not discrimination. Second, short of of being called a racist name, you won't be able to sue unless you have it on tape and can prove it was the boss doing the name-calling. Third, good f*ing luck finding a lawyer who thinks you have enough money from flipping those burgers at Pappy's Burger Joint to make it worth his while because he knows that Pappy can fire you for almost any reason.
SheriffBart 0
Not quite, Allie. I'm a lawyer. I make my living by people suing one another. I have no problem with it. The problem here is that a suit would be a really, really bad idea. Not only is there no cause of action here, and thus very little chance of meaningful recovery, but you've also put up a pretty big red flag for any future employer. In other words, it's generally a bad idea to sue your employer unless you can recover enough not to need another one. It's a far worse idea when you're suing over something so stupid that you're likely not getting past the first motion to dismiss.
rukusrazor 0
He just expects more from you, but I guess just being as bad at doing something as your co-worker is your goal.
sjx 0
Seriously? If they are co-workers, and the same position, he can't "expect more" from one than the other. He got written up for it!
fbirem 2
YDI for trying to throw your coworker under the bus
plexico 4
And your co-worker probably gets away with accepting bogus photocopied coupons, too. You ought to try to spend most of your time on the toilet trying to take a shit.
lesbee 0
Can I have a Bloody Mary, please?
plexico 4
If I were you, I wouldn't ask the stupid OP to make me a drink. This schmuck might make you a concoction of canola oil, belly-button lint, beer and maybe even some real blood. Ask the co-worker.
pickwick716 0
You made a fine drink and imma let you finish, but your colleague made one of the greatest drinks of all time!
airforce987 20
quit, you don't deserve that
emonemo3 0
win.
allmidnighteyes 11
I laughed.
JukeboxBunny 0
Hahaha this is great!
macarony_fml 0
lol. epic.
spheramint 0
i've been an avid reader of fml for a long time, but i literally joined just 5 minutes ago in order to reply to your comment. that was the funniest thing i've read in a long time, and it literally made me crack up. hilarious!
spheramint 0
man it's still funny and i've read it at least 10 times
CFR 0
Well...least he's honest *shrug*