Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
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Top comments
obviousboy 8
That stinks.
iAmScrubs 19
When you can't beat them, join them.
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Comments (122)
perdix 31
Just hope that they don't form an alliance and ambush you with the big guns!
DocBastard 40
A farting war? Unless they were projectile farting, I think "war" is an overstatement. Maybe farting skirmish. Or farting melee. A farting war must be fought with at least 20 men, preferably after consuming a keg of beer and several dime bags.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Holy shit. Doc has been thumbed down.
mwrc8man94 1
That was lame
DocBastard 40
Mwrc - I'm so sorry that my comment failed to live up to your high comedic standards. I hang my head in shame, and I shall lash myself 30 times across my thighs in penitence. I will strive to meet, nay, EXCEED your expectations henceforth. Asshole.
tommyfox 19
69- Nobody disses the Doc. Now go make out with your dog.
Rick_S 3
A friend of mine calls it Flatulence Tennis. If we assume your boyfriend is not your son's father, then it sounds like they are bonding, and that's a good thing, right? If we assume your boyfriend is your son's father, then it sounds like he's a chip off the old block, and that's a good thing, too, right? Either way, the two are finding a way to get along, and share something. Just tell them next time they should find a different place to do it, and say excuse me when they are done.
fairydust404 3
Flatulence Tennis?! That's awesome!!! :)
flockz 20
sense of smell? that's the worst thing? i make peoples' faces melt with my gassy aroma.
Mandybruin 15
Super power? What shall we call you? Hmm...
MusicMadd 0
What's up with your profile picture 0.O
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Like boyfriend like son.
omgthatsosuppera 4
At least now you know that they'll get along
Savra_fml 17
So, the one that sharts first wins or loses?
littletinyME 5
But girls never fart!!!! ;)
A100893 30
I think you should've run to a different room once the first fart bomb dropped.
geod69 8
Wait for it relief