Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
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Comments (218)
BoltTheSuperdog 22
It was really up until the point she said she was pregnant. Then I was like "that's just not right"!
justsayin11 4
OP, your fiance is a sociopath, you need to RUN!
czeptoks 8
that is terribly insensitive of him. what a douche!
BriannaMGK 15
This is the only FML I've cons across that's made me angry. I hope you bitched him out afterwards. Most of all, I hope you & your baby are okay.
BriannaMGK 15
Come*
iluvpeanutbutter 22
Where the hell was the dog's owner?!!
iluvpeanutbutter 22
Umm, have you ever been knocked over by a dog? A real dog, I mean, not a chihuahua. They can definitely stop you from getting up. In any case, being 7 months pregnant severely affects your centre of gravity- no wonder the poor woman couldn't get up with a huge belly and a dog jumping all over her.
simsgirlgem 25
I call the engagement off that's not funny to watch a pregnant woman be pushed and I wouldn't want a guy near my child if he rather laugh while I was pregnant being attacked by a dog
Huddisher 10
Yes. Laugh when the baby is at risk...
catanita 18
Hope the baby is fine. Where was the dog's owner? Your fiance is acting too childish to be a father.
Agordoni83 6
Time to find a new husband who obviously doesn't care about his unborn child...