Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
kaitieloo 22
Ultimate douchebag.
transcedental 18
This is the first time I actually say 'Fuuuck' while reading an FML, and I've been around here for years. This is too brutal for a pregnant lady, he should've taken care of you. Sorry, OP, I hope you're alright.
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Comments (218)
DogMom1990 0
What a douche, obviously he doesn't give a shit about you or your unborn baby, as one fall while pregnant can lead to your baby being injured in utero and can cause late miscarriage and death of the fetus. Dump this prick.
Lizzzzzard16 6
What a total douchebag!!
xbriluvsturtlesx 7
What a douche... Hope you and your baby are alright :)
fatman231 2
This is unacceptable behaviour .he should've helped you up and shooed the dog away
tlovely13579 5
What an asshole
Jeffy91 28
If I was you Id tell him that yall will be lucky to have a kid that isnt as mentally challenged as him now. See how he takes that. haha
fadedsmiles 1
he's a douchebag, I hope the baby is okay :)
1947Chevy 17
Leave him
sunnydays1999 3
I would have been like "the wedding is over!" Once he stops laughing be like "Yeah you didn't think that was so funny now did you?!!"
DanielleinDC 33
Wow, what a douchebag your fiance is and what an irresponsible idiot the dog's human is. It's probably too late to give the dog's person hell, but you can make your fiance pay for this bit of insensitivity for a long, long time. And I hope you and your future child are both okay.