Health: Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 515

You deserved it 10 685

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 586

You deserved it 22 035

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 939

You deserved it 5 819

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 601

You deserved it 61 283

By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 7 710

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 011

You deserved it 9 950

Butterfingers

By eiregal2 - 15/04/2020 23:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 03:05 - United States

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 303

You deserved it 3 236

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

By Seamstressed - 09/02/2017 20:00 - Italy

Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 226

You deserved it 1 262

By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 325

You deserved it 4 129

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 940

You deserved it 9 362

Michaelgee 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:05

I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.

hannah1203 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:13

Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...

Comments

brozorz 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:32

ouch!

Reinhard_Xenon 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:51

hope your Jewish!

ivan_m25 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 2:19

at least it will make it look bigger.

CamQB4 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 2:21

small.

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 17 May 2011 2:33

ha i did that when i was 5

greenorange75 8

Tuesday 17 May 2011 2:34

Ow. Sounds painful!

holydude68 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 2:37

happens to me all the time using the urinal

littlesilver 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 2:42

I'm not even a guy but gosh....that sounds excruciating!!!!

jellyD 1

Tuesday 17 May 2011 2:42

going commando? YTDI

dreamering 16

Tuesday 17 May 2011 2:43

So, Bonner is a 30 year old man, married and has a 3 year old son. Bonner, your wife was complaining recently about your bad aim.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

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I agree, your life sucks 1 732

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I agree, your life sucks 36 542

You deserved it 4 808

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I agree, your life sucks 23 831

You deserved it 1 907

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I agree, your life sucks 48 947

You deserved it 10 676

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I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 110

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 016

You deserved it 15 913

Today, there was a swim competition at my college. During my race, my speedo started slipping. Not wanting to lose for the team, I kept going even after it came off. After my turn, I had to wait on the deck, totally naked, because coaches can’t help the swimmers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 299

You deserved it 672

Same thing different taste

Butterfingers

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

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