Health: Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 515

You deserved it 10 685

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 586

You deserved it 22 035

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 938

You deserved it 5 819

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 601

You deserved it 61 283

By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 7 710

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 011

You deserved it 9 950

Butterfingers

By eiregal2 - 15/04/2020 23:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 03:05 - United States

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 303

You deserved it 3 236

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

By Seamstressed - 09/02/2017 20:00 - Italy

Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 226

You deserved it 1 262

By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 325

You deserved it 4 129

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 940

You deserved it 9 362

Michaelgee 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:05

I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.

hannah1203 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:13

Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...

Comments

shadowtrooper 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 0:57

I grabed my nuts say not my boys

whoa_is_failz 6

Tuesday 17 May 2011 0:58

OMFG!!!!!! FYL bigtime

Babygirl2338 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:05

hahaha

filipino_dude 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:09

OMGD must be extremely painful

thegrant 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:10

You might wanna wear underwear, bro.

Shadow4i5 3

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:14

I rly think u don't deserve to have a dick if u can't take care of it

conholio33 28

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:14

wow that sounds really painful

Reallyjerkman11 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:15

What?

jazminespinoza 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:20

wonderfull bye bye babies

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Tuesday 17 May 2011 20:29

Uh... No. That's not how that works.

Crazy4Christ 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 1:31

damn ouch!

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I agree, your life sucks 41 985

You deserved it 3 582

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

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Today, I took my father to a hockey game. He always has to get pictures with the girls, so while in bag check, he used his breath spray. He got me in the eye, and I was temporarily blinded through most of the first period. FML

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Same thing different taste

Butterfingers

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

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