Health: Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 517

You deserved it 10 685

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 588

You deserved it 22 036

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 940

You deserved it 5 819

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 601

You deserved it 61 283

By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 7 710

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 011

You deserved it 9 950

Butterfingers

By eiregal2 - 15/04/2020 23:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 03:05 - United States

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 303

You deserved it 3 236

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

By Seamstressed - 09/02/2017 20:00 - Italy

Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 227

You deserved it 1 263

By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 325

You deserved it 4 130

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 940

You deserved it 9 362

Michaelgee 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:05

I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.

hannah1203 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:13

Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...

Comments

ningaunicorn 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 6:16

dude how is that even possible?????

skatergamedude 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 6:20

ouch bro!!!

ashleighmef 7

Tuesday 17 May 2011 6:35

don't go free and you could have avoided that minor procedure

dannilozon 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 6:35

ewie

tommyboy101 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 6:49

**** that man no way. that would kill!!!!

jenaandtyler4eva 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 7:07

sucks for you

FlyingLazerWALRU 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 7:34

Ouch. Well, that's why you get it done when your a baby. Much less painful.

Pinkandblack 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 8:22

Mazel Tov!

mbthebulldog 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 8:48

Brandon!?

DoubtedSeeker 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 9:33

I'm sorry for two thing tight now 1. your penis; 2. the fact that I'm laughing at all these comments at you expense XD

Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic Birthday Family Money Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

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I agree, your life sucks 47 204

You deserved it 5 035

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 51 627

You deserved it 12 262

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I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 132

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I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 138

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I agree, your life sucks 2 506

You deserved it 226

Today, I walked into work on time, went into my office, sat down and turned on the computer. After working for about 4 hours, my wife called and told me to look at the clock on my computer. I put it off until after lunch, when I realized today is Sunday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 1 329

Same thing different taste

Butterfingers

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

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