Miscellaneous: Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake...

By cieee - 13/02/2012 07:09 - United States

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 920

You deserved it 5 050

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Same thing different taste

By bdayboy - 11/01/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, some of my classmates brought cupcakes to celebrate my birthday. I took the leftovers with me after class, and when my mom picked me up from school, she asked, "What are the cupcakes for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 371

You deserved it 2 839

By love you too mommy - 27/01/2014 19:26 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 470

You deserved it 5 287

By lol112 - 02/06/2012 12:47 - United States - Monroe Township

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 797

You deserved it 5 464

Good one, thanks

By MarkTheShark - 12/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 901

You deserved it 6 860

By idiot - 28/07/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 833

You deserved it 126 184

By Anonymous - 26/07/2012 10:42 - Australia

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 415

You deserved it 2 702

Classic Mom

By secret - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Ashford

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 429

You deserved it 2 300

By morgan_rumm - 11/07/2014 20:02

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 753

You deserved it 4 732

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 553

You deserved it 3 416

By Anonymous - 12/08/2015 04:05 - United States - Racine

Today, my mom got angry that I wasn't responding to her texts. I couldn't because I was in the dentist's chair. She'd dropped me off, and after returning from errands, sent the text from the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 912

You deserved it 1 641

kshafer08 7

Monday 13 February 2012 12:02

Mom-1 You-0

Buttsexpirate 9

Monday 13 February 2012 12:04

Haha your mom's pretty hilarious.

Comments

AlexBblah 10

Tuesday 14 February 2012 3:25

Shes so mean. :/ aww

bizarre_ftw 21

Tuesday 14 February 2012 4:36

But then you learn she's serious.....

tamoodielovesmar 1

Tuesday 14 February 2012 5:11

the best fml ever.

XxDancerGirlxX 17

Tuesday 14 February 2012 7:17

Your mom's hilarious!

cheesendouche 1

Tuesday 14 February 2012 13:05

I love your mom. does she go both ways?

epokryfky 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 15:17

Ok, that sucks, but your mom...great sense of humor!

Nashiq 8

Tuesday 14 February 2012 17:53

sounds like someone needs a treadmill

Skymone 6

Tuesday 14 February 2012 21:30

Haha, your mom is awesome!!! :D

all4pooh 4

Wednesday 15 February 2012 1:20

I seriously didnt get this at first. Then 5 minutes later...lol

Madz1229 4

Wednesday 15 February 2012 4:14

Now that's a funny moms you have... Lol

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 475

You deserved it 4 248

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend with wet celery, a flying helmet, a feather duster, and an egg whisk as an 'Allo 'Allo! themed sex joke. He didn’t get it so I had to explain it to him, which kind of ruined the joke. In the end we just spent yet another sexless night, bored, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 290

The Top

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 050

You deserved it 31 094

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 860

You deserved it 3 860

Today, I told my boss I'm going to quit, after months of being abused, doing meaningless work, and working late every day. I was soon given so many new projects that I didn't even have time to write my resignation letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 846

You deserved it 5 908

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 280

You deserved it 10 162

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 127

You deserved it 5 079

Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 1 235

Same thing different taste

Good one, thanks

Classic Mom

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