Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML
Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML
Today, my husband whined that our sex life is terrible. I agree. I wish he'd stop killing the mood with crappy pickup lines and crude innuendos every time I act even slightly receptive towards him. It's like he turns into a 14 year-old the second I kiss him. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, after 10-plus years of marriage, my husband still gets off after 5 minutes. I find myself just wanting to just go down on him, instead of being unsatisfied right when I start to get into it myself. FML
Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML
Today, my husband has lost over a hundred pounds. I'm happy for him, but now he has an incredibly high sex drive and keeps asking for sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. FML
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Top comments
Soverain 15
Well then tell him how you don't like how he orgasms so quickly. Talk to your partner about what gets you off, try some foreplay. Have him pleasure you with his mouth instead if he cums too fast. Nothing is going to change if you guys don't communicate and you'll both be unsatisfied. Communication is key to a healthy relationship.
GummyJellyfish 12
My guy usually does that when we haven't had it for a while. But when we do it every day he lasts for 30-60m .-. it's kind of annoying tbh, going on that long. Im not a fkn pornstar just finish up jeez. Anyway! Do it more often and I bet you that will change.
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Comments (72)
Soverain 15
Well then tell him how you don't like how he orgasms so quickly. Talk to your partner about what gets you off, try some foreplay. Have him pleasure you with his mouth instead if he cums too fast. Nothing is going to change if you guys don't communicate and you'll both be unsatisfied. Communication is key to a healthy relationship.
eyepuppy 31
Sounds like they are talking, but the right questions aren't being asked. He did ask her why her sex drive wasn't higher. Based on what op said, I can assume she didn't talk about it. Nothing in a relationship gets better unless you talk. YDI, op. Also, they also make a cream that helps guys last longer. Just saying.
tounces7 28
He Complained - that is not the same thing as asking. Bitching about a problem doesn't solve it. Which applies to the OP too, since apparently she'd rather just avoid sex than actually try and address the issue.
ReineRien 5
i completely agree with you, but sometimes the partner doesn't listen and their ego gets hurt and blame it on you. Had that happen with an ex. That's why he's an ex.
GummyJellyfish 12
My guy usually does that when we haven't had it for a while. But when we do it every day he lasts for 30-60m .-. it's kind of annoying tbh, going on that long. Im not a fkn pornstar just finish up jeez. Anyway! Do it more often and I bet you that will change.
jakedabane 4
Same here. If it's been a while, it's going to be a quickie. Sorry, nothing can be done about that. But when it's regular, the wife usually gets off 2 or 3 times before I'm there.
Yourheadache 19
lol I love when sex lasts longer than an hour ?
SpyroMello 29
You're lucky #2. My boyfriend lasts over an hour which can be tiring but at least I get to have more than 1 ******. I do feel bad that I can't get him to finish during intercourse (I usually help him with my hand or mouth at the end) so we talk about it and try different things. Communication is definitely key to a healthy and happy relationship.
MrEpicSqueaky101 18
I have a different problem. She finishes before me. After orgasming too much she gets too sensitive and tightens. :c
Jay18 22
#56 how's that a problem
mikepzz 27
Because he can't finish.. Thought that was plainly obvious
mfmylifesrsly 30
As number 1 stated, communication is key. You having an ****** matters, too. You could have him get you off during foreplay (some women prefer clitoral orgams) or have sex, take a break, and go again cause he'll typically last longer the second time. With my ex since he came fast I would preform oral on him, then when he finished he would preform oral on me until I came, and by then he was able to preform again for coitus. Anyway I didn't mean to get so detailed but just wanted to give advice on how to work around it. Things won't get better unless y'all communicate. Good luck OP. :)
DanielleinDC 34
The only kind of ****** is a clitoral ******. Freud's myth of the "immature" clitoral ****** and "mature" vaginal ****** needs to die.
BLDYRBBT 16
I know plenty of women that would disagree with your clitoral only ****** theory.
sweetpotato301 7
I think it's because both kinds of orgasms come from the ********, it's just that what we think of as the 'clitoral' ****** comes from stimulating the external part of the clit and what we call a 'vaginal' ****** comes from stimulating the internal part of the ********. But, 24, does it really matter? The different types do feel different and those words are a good way of distinguishing between them.
mfmylifesrsly 30
Interesting!! I'll look into that. But there is also nipple orgasms..as well as anal but maybe that is associated with the clit too.
nykkilynn16 7
I would say not necessarily. I can have both and the nipples at least does not stimulate my clit. There are those "mind orgasms" too where nothing is physically being stimulated.
bretzeller 13
Have your partner ********** (or help him) a couple hours ahead. Then he'll last way longer.
MrsHoffman 11
You two need to start talking!!
dannidoll93 24
The answer to pretty much every sex related FML: COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER!
Rabite 28
People who don't give a shit about what others tell them don't exist, right?
fakedsincerity 32
^ they exist. but they should be single until they learn better.
AmericanBadAss 21
Your frustration comes through in your writing. Be honest and tell him why. You're heading straight for divorce court if you don't talk to him about it. If you want him to last longer, there are many things to try, several comments have given good suggestions, but they won't work unless he knows what you want. Not many men, or women, are mind readers, so talk to him.
yuneshinfanboy 14
You must be doing something that's turning him on
ToxicTyrael 26
Talk about it, maybe he can please you with toys or other techniques.
SargeRho 6
Communication failure. YDI.
chosha_fml 27
Communication is important, but what kind of dumbass needs to be told that if he never gets his wife off, or even tries for 1min to do so, that she's not going to be interested in having sex with him? Duh!
tounces7 28
Obviously the dumbass that is her husband.