Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML
Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, just as we got done having probably the best sex of our relationship, my partner called me her ex's name. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend used the baby name I wanted with the girlfriend he’s been dating for less than a year. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
Well at least now if she ever turns you down for sex you can just deal with it by beating her ex.
wishfulthinks 19
If he was a massive dick, take is as a compliment to your endowment.
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Comments (69)
PenguinBitch 44
That's her way of fooling you when she screams her ex's name during sex. @13, exactly XD
buckdharma 38
Who's the black private dick That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
Enslaved 38
"Shaft"! I only know the answer because I watched an episode of "Two and a Half Men" that sang the theme song.
buckdharma 38
You're damn right.
PaulieXP 16
Dick Justice
kuzzy00 22
Yay another kiwi! I'm also from Auckland. Hell, now I'm curious what the girls name is. Quite likely I know her through someone. But more curious to know what the name is she gave you!! Hahaha
jade3424 21
Not cool...
CaliCassanova 14
I hate when girls "dick" around with your heart!
labaro19 17
I geuss she's still banging her ex
ProfessorMctitie 20
Least it wasnt something like Teeny Tiny Tony. Well hopefully it wasnt.
fsomelife 26
Instead of naming your penis after her ex, she could've named you after her ex's penis. It can always be worse.
vikky538 29
I hope the pet name is dick..not asshole...
ProfessorMctitie 20
That would be a weird name for a dick...
yeti37 16
Was his name "Rod"...?