Drunk and Work: Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5...

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 05:34

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 348

You deserved it 3 984

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2013 00:26 - Iceland

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 444

You deserved it 15 607

By Sarri - 18/02/2014 02:13 - United States - Pembroke

Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 421

You deserved it 5 413

By northernlass - 20/09/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 940

You deserved it 2 678

By sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - 17/07/2013 10:06 - United States - Pearl City

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 001

You deserved it 6 700

By Anonymous - 04/03/2015 18:20 - United States

Today, I had my first concert and was really anxious about screwing up my performance. Good news: I played fine. Bad news: as I walked off the stage, I tripped over my own feet, face-planted the floor, and busted my nose open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 774

You deserved it 3 055

By Emcee - 05/06/2009 10:48 - Philippines

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I was hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 644

You deserved it 6 170

Rock n roll!

By Anonymous - 09/10/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I had my first gig with my new band. I was concentrating on my guitar during the second song when I tripped over the singer's microphone cable, hit my head on the bass drum, and blacked out. When I came to, people were applauding, apparently thinking it was part of the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 126

RAWK N ROLL!!!

By stagedivefail - 19/08/2009 14:36 - Australia

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 868

You deserved it 59 709

Karaoke night

By helluvasinger - 12/11/2009 11:00 - South Africa

Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 214

You deserved it 5 493

Turn around, Bright Eyes

By Alma - 01/10/2024 20:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I was at a karaoke bar. After a few drinks, I gave it a go. Halfway through “Total Eclipse of the Heart” I got so into it, I knocked over the mic stand. The mic flew off, hit the DJ, who then hit the emergency stop button, cutting off the music. I froze as the bar erupted into laughter. I did get a free Coke for my “performance,” which was something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 197

Welshite 39

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:38

I think he may of taken the knock-knock joke a tad too literally.

Exodiafinder687 58

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:48

I bet the audience though that was the best punchline of the night.

Comments

Welshite 39

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:38

I think he may of taken the knock-knock joke a tad too literally.

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 21 January 2015 20:30

Standup? Not anymore.

wikypedia 5

Wednesday 21 January 2015 22:02

Knock knock Who's there? Me, I kill you! *knocked out*

Mauskau 35

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:39

Perhaps you should practice more with a smaller audience, see if your friends and family find you funny. If they don't, you have a lot of work to do. Good luck and I hope you're not injured.

brendejafulable 41

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:39

i'd guess no.

coried91 28

Thursday 22 January 2015 1:34

What are you talking about?! He was a knock out! *Buh dum tisss*

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:41

Even the most recognized singers had it rough in the beginning, overcome this obstacle & you'll only improve.

khaoticpanda 28

Wednesday 21 January 2015 21:51

I could be wrong but im sure hes talking about stand up comedy

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Thursday 22 January 2015 1:13

read it too fast

vikky538 28

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:41

then we should call it open-mic knockout..

mct_1087 27

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:43

An open-bottle knockout.

Steve95401 49

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:42

I have seen musicians who were magicians because they could make an audience disappear.

PossiblyInDanger 24

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:46

Mictality!

kirbs19 37

Wednesday 21 January 2015 19:46

Practice, practice, practice! You need to see if other people like yours material family, friends, colleges. And do some research on WHO will be there on open mic night! That way you won't get knocked out.