Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML
Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML
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Top comments
bigtaytay 13
First thing that cane to mind is that old song Stacey's mom
Futacy 30
What? No hot sister?
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Comments (143)
EagleDown77 4
They just want some milf and cookies
Irishgypsy 2
Remind your friends you will look like her later, unless you're a dude then that's a bad idea
saintsrocksocks 10
Hey when you press comment for the FML it'll say OP's gender.
PaulB123 11
You didn't leave your name, but I'm assuming it's Stacey? Edit: three beat me to it.
kimg0885 23
Is your mom married? If not I'd watch out if I were you; you wouldn't want you friend Tim to become your stepdad Tim! What movie is that from?
kimg0885 23
Four Christmases! I knew it would come to me. But yea Brad played by Vince Vaughn goes to visit his mom and his new stepdad aka his old best friend.
rizzybear 4
Sounds like OP needs to find some guy friends who have their eyes on books and not cleavage.
jenna_love91 5
Dude that sucks!
ImmaB3AST 7
It actually gets annoying having a hotter mom. My friends are always saying stuff about my mom. I got used to it but it's still annoying. Anyways, at least you probably have some good characteristics from your mom!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I hate having a "hot mom". I swear, everywhere I go, people young enough to be my older brother hit on her. Sorry, OP. I know that feel.
FBI_Surveillance 3
Is you name Stacey?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
My name no Stacey! What wrong with you? Is not my name!!! YOU name Stacey! How you like? Huh? Is not feeling very nicely, yes?
annie_nk 23
"Stacy's mom" is a song with that says "Stacy's mom has got in going on". Calm your ****.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
My **** are calm, thank you very much. I was referring to: 1) The repeated use of the joke 2) the fact that he used 'you' instead of 'your'. Get it now?
annie_nk 23
Gotcha. I didn't notice the wrong use of "your" at first. I read it too fast. Although I still chuckle reading your comments in a high, squeaky voice lol ;)
Vaginabutter 15
And the fact that op is a guy.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
74- I know a man named Stacy.
tony1891 22
your mom goes to college.