By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 22:02
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Pathetic. You're desperate and have low self esteem and low standards. You embarrassed yourself. The bj in vain should be a permanent reminder to your desperation which needs to be curtailed.
People who have "crushes" are pretty much undateable. Instead of thinking about dating your "crush", think of dates as an opportunity to get to know someone and to have a good time. You don't need to like someone to date them. You can just think they look interesting, and then date them to see if you like them. No commitment. You can't be in love with someone if you don't know them, and you can't know them by stalking their social media or writing their name hundreds of times in a notebook. That's not how this works.
Ouch. That pressure in your chest is NOT love, prob'ly not even lust. Mine was some sort of love-addict codependent frenzy, but I recognized that bull**** this time. I spent Friday with a friend from high school, and it knocked the frenzy into something I can manage. ...And just to be sure it stuck, I spent Sunday with another. Maybe slow down. Spend some time with people, date different kinds of people. Heck, make friends with your dates. For that matter, make friends with some men. Ungh, I wish I could just open your head and pour in a vast database of knowledge. You're not stupid; you're inexperienced. And I don't just mean sex. Sounds like you've not yet learned to manage your need for love and acceptance. I wish you the best.