By praise the prenup - 03/10/2012 00:04 - United States - Delaware

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 853
You deserved it 3 034

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Perhaps you should return the favour and cut his grass!

I mean, if he was REALLY doing his job, it would've been your bushes as well.


Clever man. But that's her job.

Should've used Angies list.

She would come home to the locks changed and her shit on the curb. Sell every thing you own to a good friend for a buck. That way when the divorce is over you owe her .50. Then you can get all the shit back from your friend! Trust me,it's legal,it works,it's what I did!!!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but won't the courts look in his favor anyways since she was the one who cheated? So why go through the extra hassle of selling your things if she's not entitled to half?

Unless he has proof of infidelity, it doesn't matter what he claims happened.

PYLrulz 17

30 - Wasn't there a King of the Hill episode where Hank's boss does that?!?

I'm the only one that thinks its a little odd that he is trimming her bush..?

It was a metaphor

cjhilde 1

She gets it...

Wow, I'm glad that was cleared up. What was I thinking? I forgot how much of our population doesn't understand sarcasm or have a sense of humor.

Perhaps you should return the favour and cut his grass!

Get the pruning sheers and make it so he pees sitting down.

Better not hire a pool boy...

Haha. Great reference. The people who vote it down need to go watch the movie extract.

jacquesromualdez 12

Or watch out for the plumbing man or the mailman.


if the mailman comes on Sunday, something is up

unknown_user5566 26

Landscapers have some pretty sharp tools, right? I hope you put them to good use, and then promptly filed for divorce.

perdix 29

#52, you sure have a selective memory.

unknown_user5566 26

52- Definitely a selective memory... did you not see the "my boyfriend is intimidated by pretty girls" story?

52: You've got 10 comments and as far as I can tell, they've all been fails. Don't **** with kyleekay--she's smarter than you.

I mean, if he was REALLY doing his job, it would've been your bushes as well.

Wait that sounds bad too. I mean like technically it would be both yours and your wife's I give up. It's impossible to reverse this.

Less was more.

perdix 29

Evidently, the OP was taking care of his own manscaping at the time, but his wife's garden had become wildly overgrown. You need to bring in the pros to take care of that shit. Trimming a massive bush is one thing, but when he plows her field. . .

Oh gosh.. How did that go?

How do you think?

He could've joined in. Lol

unknown_user5566 26

If he had joined in, I'm guessing it wouldn't have made it to FML. "Today, I had a threesome. FML" Naw... I don't see that ever getting approved to be a story.

flockz 19

i don't think any straight guy would want a threesome with a girl and another guy. that's just gay sex with a witness.

26) I think a man that is comfortable enough with his sexuality would be willing to have a threesome under the right circumstances. For example, of him and his girl wanted to try something new and they were both extremely comfortable around the other guy. It's not as big a deal as everyone makes it seem, and it's not like you're gunna be forced to suck his dick. Come on.

zero91 4

2 guys shouldnt sex the same girl .. if the girl gets pregnant , who is the father of the child

41- That's what we call an episode of Maury/Jerry Springer.

LiterOfCola 16

40: I think it's one thing if its just a hook up, but I think YOU should "come on." It seems extremely weird to me that a guy would be okay with watching another man touch his wife or girlfriends ******. Why would you want another guy to know what your wife feels like? That is just beyond awful in my opinion. Regardless of whether it's a gay act, how could you be okay with seeing your girl all over another guy's dick?

unknown_user5566 26

76- I agree with you and would not be able to see someone else being intimate with my husband, but everyone has different tastes and preferences when it comes to sexual activity.

kittykat1501 31

26, how would a guy and two girls do it? Only one penis and two holes

EnvyMe33 26

But there are three mouths...

I guess he wasn't beating around the bush when he told you that.

It was a good pun BECAUSE it was a bad pun... Come on people get with the program.

No, he was just beating it. Mercilessly.

I usually don't say this on FML , but divorce is an option since she did cheat. Look at all of your options and weigh them side by side. Good luck OP. I hope things work out for you.

Kinda hard to prove that unless he snapped a picture. "She cheated!" "Er... No I didn't!"

Damn. How does he know your wife has a bush?

I think that's the entire point of the FML.....

that is the most tryhard non-funniest beside the point comment since the eclipse that spawned you.

unknown_user5566 26

29- What the hell are you rambling on about?

something about bad comments and sucky teenage vampire novels..... I think?