Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML
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Top comments
MooseKnuckle503 11
You couldn't tell?
OhDearBetrayal 25
Don't mess with a man's book bag, man. It ain't right.
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Comments (137)
panda_lou 11
How are you so dumb that you couldn't notice the difference?
OfficeNinja 5
That is why you never start a prank war with somebody smarter than you.
monkeytater96 23
The price of nuggets!! Haha
ariaofdoom 16
The protein powders I've used are not over sweet, whereas chocolate milk mix and brown sugar would be... Although if you work out a lot and still gained 10lbs of fat you're probably drinking too many "protein" shakes. Protein supplements are meant to help your body with muscle growth and recovery post work out.
Sir_Swaggington 6
This is like the guy version of Mean Girls. Remember when they gave that girl "Swedish diet bars" but they were actually weight gain bars? Anyway, FYL OP.
davek 36
This means war.
wironandine 8
Lol owned
jagutschlag 3
Sounds like OP's roommate doesn't understand the concept of proportionality.
Zebediabolical 43
If this is the roomies proportional response to a bookbag turned inside out, I can only imagine what roomie will do if OP retaliates.
GogoTheGreat 12
Bet your ass you won't do that again!
TheyCallMeDamien 17
Get a new roommate ASAP because your current one is a passive aggressive bitch.