Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML
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Top comments
MooseKnuckle503 11
You couldn't tell?
OhDearBetrayal 25
Don't mess with a man's book bag, man. It ain't right.
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Comments (137)
SuperDanielNL 23
I get the impression that most roomates are dicks when reading FML.
BrandiLush 31
They are. This is why I choose to live alone. People be crazy!
SuperDanielNL 23
Yeah, I am kinda nervous about going to university now. Perhaps I'll find my own flat...
AliceAristocrat 12
It's like Mean Girls but with dudes.
interesting33 36
That's what I thought!
somecoolperson1 2
Mean Dudes
annie_nk 22
Anyone else reminded of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory?
pompousjackass 10
No.
andrealovvve 17
Chocolatey-brown sugar goodness compared to protein powder? I mean, wouldn't u taste the difference right away? Or at least I would.
babipie109 7
Now it is time to do it every time :)
MrItalia 18
Should of slapped him a bit, never **** around with a man and his protein shake, and you... Do you drink protein shakes full of sugar? On ya bike son
buckdharma 37
The bad thing is, now you're addicted to this counterproductive concoction. Want good advice? Don't have a cow, man. Just "don't" do it. Cowabunga!
mangoboy1 19
I know how you feel if I waS you I'd beat the shit out of your roommate fitness is everything to me
Ambience138 11
Same here. I'd be so pissed it wouldn't be funny. Now's the time to get revenge.
thelittlebirdie 9
switch his shampoo with Nair! :)
Jon15805 7
You must not have any taste. because out of all the protein shakes I've had I don't believe any of them tasted a bit like chocolate milk mix and brown sugar.