Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML
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Top comments
MooseKnuckle503 11
You couldn't tell?
OhDearBetrayal 25
Don't mess with a man's book bag, man. It ain't right.
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Comments (137)
xRezSynn 15
Couldn't you taste the difference?
perdix 29
You would have gotten just as fat off the protein powder. You think that just because you loiter in the gym staring at girls in yoga pants, you can consume massive amounts of food. You're taking in too many calories.
Ambience138 11
How do you know the OP is taking in too many calories? He might be trying to build muscle, which you need to take in a lot of calories and protein to do.
TehCezar 5
Have you not heard of bulking?
Markus12 8
I'm sorry, but it's your own fault. 1 scoop of sugar mixed with chocolate powder has the same calories as 1 scoop of protein. So it wasn't the sugar that made you fat. Your diet just sucks...
interesting33 36
But surely protein shakes have protein which helps build up muscle, whereas chocolate powder just has carbs?
Rumbelle_fml 22
#48, I don't think you quite understand how calories work. Please do some minor Googling on calories/protien/fat/carbs, (or whatever the subject at hand may be) next time you try to sound smart.
Markus12 8
#63 Are you talking to me? Because I know perfectly fine how calories work. And 1 scoop included in protein powder buckets are about 30 grams. And 30 grams of protein is 110 calories. And 30 grams of sugar is 135 calories. That's 25 calories extra he has been taking in after his workout. This wouldn't cause a weight gain. So his diet is to blame. Also, the sugar after your workout isn't an entirely bad thing. Since the body needs the energy both before and after a workout. Please elaborate on how I'm wrong again...
Wolfy9 4
No, you're wrong. Protein shakes are used in workouts because the protein is used to consume fat as energy. On top of that, the protein is used by the muscles to repair and rebuild muscles, allowing for faster muscle gain and less post-workout muscleaches. Calories are just energy values, calories from sugar and protein are not comparable. Sugar is either used up quickly in exercise or converted to fat while protein serves different functions in the body. Do some research before you post.
Markus12 8
I know my research, and I know how protein works. This is not the topic. The topic is that OP gained weight, and OP is trying to blame the sugar shakes. Which are not to blame. 35g of sugar is not going to "convert itself to fat" Unless he consume too many calories to begin with. Let's say op needs 3000 calories a day to maintain his weight. Let's say he's eating 2500 calories, and drinks his sugar shake. That puts him at 2625 calories. Which won't make him gain weight. You feeling me? My initial point is still valid. Left-over energy is what makes you gain weight. Not sugar. Please stop spreading this shit, and google. What I'm saying is true. You can't gain weight without having more energy than you spend. .. -.-
brando_comando 1
Um wow I'd kill ur roommate, protein is vital to lifting, and the stuff I take taste amazing, like a chocolate malt!!
suri23 11
You, my friend, might be living with a psychopath-good luck!
interesting33 36
Protein shakes are expensive!! That's really mean.
galefrog 3
Dumbasses, all of you who think shakes always taste bad or that they aren't useful. Gaining muscle weight is the point. Sorry your buddy did that, bodybuilding is hard.
shouldwork 3
Honestly though Aside from the fact that you should've been able to taste it Working out that much and consuming a sugary beverage instead of a protein one should only slow muscle growth and not make you gain fat
Markus12 8
Exactly my point.
The_F3rris 11
At least you will probably work the fat off pretty fast if you exercise as much as you say. Stick laxatives in your friends food sometime for revenge, yes?
titibug823 11
Hehe I've done that... someone was stealing my food from the dorm community fridge... so I put laxatives in it... they didn't steal it again!
HumanWiki 8
Your roommate needs a lesson in silent revenge. Various bugs blended in to food should do it.
interesting33 36
ugh!