Today, my 80 year-old grandad is having more sex in his retirement home than I am as a married man. And by that I mean his care staff had to call me to say they found him having sex. That’s once this year, whereas I’ve not had sex with my wife in three years. I can’t afford to divorce her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
Today, I overheard my grandad complaining that without the winter heating allowance, it’s going to be too cold for him and grandma to get naked for sex, unless they just expose the necessary bits to each other for a few minutes. Props they still get it on in their 70s but still, ew grandad. FML
Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML
Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML
Today, I had to sit in the hospital with my 88-year-old grandfather by myself. During the five hours I was there, he insisted on sharing the intimate details of his many sexcapades that he has had since World War II. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
At least you're future is bright. I've heard nursing homes are total ****-fests. Hopefully, you'll live long enough to get into one.
core01 30
Men will force women to carry the entire domestic load + work full time, and then bitch about sex. Divorce her already.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
At least you're future is bright. I've heard nursing homes are total ****-fests. Hopefully, you'll live long enough to get into one.
core01 30
Men will force women to carry the entire domestic load + work full time, and then bitch about sex. Divorce her already.
n3rdn3ss 8
Or you know, have an open and honest discussion about what's going on instead of leading it to divorce.