Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML
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Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
Today, I had a customer go on a 15-minute rant about how disgusting fat people are, and how they deserve it if they develop diabetes, gout, etc. Yes, I am fat. I eat well, I exercise, I've had a gastric balloon, I've been to weight loss retreats, dieticians, personal trainers, and yet I'm "gross." FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
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Top comments
xSkittle 16
I really want to know how old he is
MEAT_CURTAINS 5
That's what I tell myself too 'Oh no my jeans don't fit' 'Oh it's ok i just haven't had a shit today'
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Comments (102)
NodakN8V 25
Kind of like "if no one sees you eat it, it doesn't count." Seems logical.
honeymoonroyale 20
Sigh, if only, if only...
Obey_StudBoii 23
Your son has a ****** up logic.
splitintwo 6
Some people are always sick but don't gain weight until puberty or extreme stress times. Hormones play a huge role. I say send him to fat camp
eternal_malaise 10
OP, expain to your son that his theory is true only if he leaves the wrappers and packaging on and swallows it whole.
ariastyles12 25
At least he doesn't have bulimia
Flashman9000 9
My logic, you are a crap parent.
8born8 18
Your logic sucks.
LtBoom 13
When did Miley Cyrus make an FML account?
unknownjedi112 7
You raised him
rflurry94 6
That's the same logic I had when I was in the second grade. Congrats your son has the mentality of an 8-year old.
CharresBarkrey 15
Maybe he IS an 8 year old. It doesn't say his age.
timotay 4
Lock him in a room with nothing but a consistent supply of water, fruits, and veggies. Maybe also give him a jigsaw puzzle or a book of word searches so his mind will also be healthy. Yea, that should do the trick.
monnanon 13
you do need a bit of everything in your diet. that includes fat. i do think something drastic needs done though.