By fuck - 21/08/2015 18:22 - United States - Somerville
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It was still a good lesson to teach the kid. Before they saw her plate they had no way of knowing if she was unhealthy or if she had some sort of illness or condition. Or maybe something else going on in her life that led her to that lifestyle. You just never know.
I may be on the wrong side of this, but it really isn't anybody's business what a stranger eats or what they do with their bodies. The mother was right to scold her son, regardless of what was on the woman's plate. It's a great time to teach the benefits of eating healthy and to mind your own business. I was raised to not make fun of or pass judgement on people who have not hurt me or interfered with my life or well-being in any way. I understand the health risks of obesity, and I try to eat healthy and take care of myself, but I don't know the lives of other people. I can only make choices for me. It's not my place to judge. Just my two cents.
I'm just gonna go ahead and say thank you OP for at least telling your son that people's weight isn't always their fault. I have a problem with my thyroid that causes me to gain/lose weight without a change in my diet, so I've been called fat a lot more than I'd like to admit. It's nice to know that some people actually understand and try to raise children who aren't insufferable pricks.
Most, but not all. There's an eating disorder that tends to make sufferers obese rather than skinny (Binge Eating Disorder), trying to find effective medications for mental illness can make people have to choose between gaining an abhorrent amount of weight and being suicidal without it, people who've been sexually abused often gain weight as an unconscious coping mechanism to be able to feel "unattractive", etc. Ultimately, since you never know peoples' stories, I think the safest answer is the truth: it's nobody else's business what somebody's weight is, and commenting on it unless they ask you to is pointlessly rude.
It's not just lack of discipline. I have to be careful what i eat because i have poly cystic ovary syndrome. I can be undisciplined at times, but that's not always why i struggle with weight loss. PCOS makes it difficult to lose weight. Standard diets haven't worked for me, and usually don't work for others lest they live with other like-minded people, which they usually don't. There are a lot of emotional eaters like me out there, and that's not so easily overcome without therapy. I'm trying mindful eating now and I'm finally losing weight, because I'm changing on my own time and starting to realize why i eat emotionally
105 & 108-- I have polycystic kidney disease and have the same problem with weight. Also, because my kidneys are loaded with cysts and so large, they actually take up place in my abdomen-- which makes me look "fat". My weight fluctuates a lot (often times due to factors beyond my control). If I gain a few pounds, I can look almost obese and I get really self conscious-- especially if I'm eating in front of strangers. Even if I'm at a normal weight, my kidneys make my abdomen more pronounced. In fact, the more weight I lose, the more people ask me when my baby is due. I can never win. People are just better off minding their own business. You don't know what other people are going through.
You know what, you should probably allow him to ask her those questions. This whole appreciate the way you look stuff is bs. Being anorexic or obese is unhealthy and perhaps the only way to make some people change is to tell them just that.
@ 27: Thats true to an extent, especially in the US. But in other countries, the consequences aren't just theirs. In the UK obesity costs the NHS about £6 billion per year, and a further £10 billion a year spent on managing diabetes (though I'm aware that's not solely due to obesity, a big chunk of it is). Then on top of that you've got all the benefits these people get because they're too fat to work, disability benefits, and carers allowance for the people that have to stay home and look after them. Thats billions upon billions of pounds of taxpayers money spent on people who can't be fucked to lose weight.
@#37: I understand how you'd think that, since you're somewhat right. However, you're also somewhat wrong. Nervous problems caused by a great amount of stress may cause someone to binge. That person will not think about it at the moment, but may regret it later. That's why a lot of people with that issue become anorexic later on.
#38, the same can be said for smokers. But they aren't regularly shamed. In fact, I've recently ran into issues with people trying to pressure my husband into smoking. We need food to survive, most of us eat more than we need, yes, but we do need food. Smokers don't NEED tobacco. It just makes them feel good. Then, as you said, they wind up costing everyone money because they're now on expensive equipment to stay alive from their lung diseases. So I wish I saw more "smoking is disgusting and unhealthy and people can't be "fucked" to quit" than "Ew they ate too much and now they're fat, there's no excuse for it"
#49-That's not really relevant to this conversation about obesity... but they're as bad as each other, and I've got no patience or respect for smokers or overeaters who's health suffer as a consequence. People who live off handouts and deliberately stay fat so they don't have to work, and cost the NHS a fortune in healthcare aren't a lesser evil just because 'they still need to eat and smoking is worse'. Yes you need food to survive, but you don't need to consume copious amounts of unhealthy shit to survive, so thats not an excuse in any circumstance, it's not even in the same league. Also, I don't know where you live to see more anti-obesity than smoking, but I see FAR more negative propaganda about smoking than I do about overeating. I don't recall ever seeing anything trying to persuade people not to eat that pack of donuts, but I see anti-smoking leaflets all over my work, ones at my uni about quitting, posters in hospitals and doctors surgeries, I went to a bar a few weeks ago that had anti-smoking beer mats, and you don't get disturbingly graphic health warnings on crisps and chocolate do you? There's so much public shaming about smoking, but it's not considered acceptable to do the same about self inflicted obesity, which is why it frustrates people so much.
Wow thank you for claiming I am unhealthy I mean the fact I jog everyday walk my dog several times a day and eat nothing but fruits veggies poultry and fish clearly means I am an unhealthy slob, listen buddy some of us have problems with losing weight so shut your frecking mouth
I think they meant that people don't get shamed for smoking in person as much as fat people do. I see anti smoking ads all the time but never anti obesity ads. However, I see people made fun of for being fat far more often than smokers do for smoking. Actually, I've never seen someone made fun of for smoking in person. Usually they'll get pressured by their friends and family in a very concerned manner because they want them to be okay.
#59 Clearly his comment wasn't pointed at people like you who actually try to do something about it, but at the people who just don't give a damn about their own health (and, by extension, about those who love them and want them around) or even take pride in being unhealthily large or unhealthily thin.
#59 Well, for the large majority of people, losing weight is as simple as burning more calories than you take in. Even for people with thyroid issues and other genetic disorders, they gain less than 50 pounds because of their issues, and it is still possible to lose weight if done right. So, I'm almost 100% that you are either eating too much fish poultry veggies and fruits, you are eating them wrong (fried and slathered in cheese and butter), or you are eating other foods that you don't tell us (hey, you might not even realize that you're eating them). For most people though, that say this, they just don't want people to stare. The truth is, our bodies are like vehicles. If you put 20 gallons of gas in the tank, and burn only 10 gallons before you come back for 20 more gallons of gas, you're eventually going to need larger and larger tanks to hold the fuel you aren't using. If you changed it around so that you put 15 "gallons of gas" in the tank and burned 20 "gallons" before you came back for more (Don't overdo it though, losing weight too fast is unhealthy too), you'd see weight loss.
Yeah, the vast majority of obese people don't have a 'health problem' they have a problem with jamming way too much crap food down their fat throats. They need to take responsibility for their lack of self-control.
Wow. That's a heavy subject to explain to an (I assume) young child. Make sure he understands the weight of her situation.
On one hand, its kindve out of line to tell someone that as its putting them down which isnt exactly something most people are aiming for. Not to mention you do need to teach the kids what they can and cant say. That being said, i agree people do need to eat properly and its there own responsibility to do so. Not being a twig is fine, but at some point its not ok to be extremely overweight
No, I think he has a point. To an extent, it's the persons responsibility to eat healthy. What good are you doing for you or anyone becoming obese(extremely overweight) to the point of it causing you to be in a scooter, or causing you to take up two airplane seats. You put pressure on yourself(body under strain), put others at strain(don't want to cause a scene/ do something to offend said person, and find a way to explain what OP's kid asked(kids ask questions we don't have the guts to, oftentimes). How would you explain it?