Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML
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Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
Today, I had a customer go on a 15-minute rant about how disgusting fat people are, and how they deserve it if they develop diabetes, gout, etc. Yes, I am fat. I eat well, I exercise, I've had a gastric balloon, I've been to weight loss retreats, dieticians, personal trainers, and yet I'm "gross." FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
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Top comments
xSkittle 16
I really want to know how old he is
MEAT_CURTAINS 5
That's what I tell myself too 'Oh no my jeans don't fit' 'Oh it's ok i just haven't had a shit today'
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Comments (102)
xRezSynn 15
Teach your son...
liaRawr 9
Some people can clean cut slowly get him onto the healthier way
breedadragon 3
like parent like child
naiveprophet 15
Really?! So how'd he get so fat to begin with?
moosepilemini 6
It's your fault that he is fat, you did not limit his intake of food. You did also not make him get more exercise. Blame your self.
MrBoredomioo 18
No wonder I'm so fat, I've had some bad constipation! Thanks kid!
Baller_Bob 17
It's sounds like that was God's plan too. To crap him out
thefmlman2011 36
Damn
katyviper 22
Clear out all of the junk food in the house, and keep it all away. He can't eat what isn't there.
mastatheif 8
let your sack of shit son die, or take away everything he loves and give it back when he weighs less