By Anonymous - 7/3/2021 02:00

Free healthcare for all

Today, I learned that my MS medication is going to cost 25k a month. My insurance won't cover a cent. I don't even make that much in a year. FML

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Season finale

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

You hear me?

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

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By Matthew - United States - Juneau

Not so Karate Kid

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

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By Blurry - Philippines

Today, I joined a small disaster relief group. I remarked to the big, long-haired person beside me that it was surprising that I was the only female in the group. I got a cold stare. Later I asked another volunteer about that person. He answered, "Oh, her? She's my sister." FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

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By CreepedOut - United States

Run away time!

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, a customer filed a complaint against me because my coworker took too long to do a price check. I hate my job. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

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By jf29 - United States

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML

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By Burp - United States

Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML

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By Anonymous - Israel

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, on my way back from a family trip, my fiancé informed me via text that he'd been cheating on me for years and that he'd moved out of our house and left the state. He blocked me before I could respond. We were together for 7 years. FML

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By Loho - Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

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By SoreNips - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad killed my pet rats. They were playing on the sofa, and he thought they were vermin. This would have been understandable if the reason he came over wasn't to meet them, and they hadn't been wearing bright pink walking harnesses. FML

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By fthis - United States

Me me me

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

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By oxjessiiox - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

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By virgin

Early program

Today, I was so excited because tomorrow I'm going to be losing my virginity. I just used the bathroom and I got my period. FML

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By JoblessandStupid - United States - Stockbridge

Today, I got pissed and tried to storm out of work, only to get outside and realize I couldn't because I'd let my coworker borrow my car for lunch. FML

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By 3 More Months - United States - Stanford

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

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By TappedAnts - United States - Seabrook

Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML

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By SimpleSwimmer - United States

Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML

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By creedonfied - United States - Billerica

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

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By Should have stayed in the closet

Today, I was leaving college when my yearlong roommate said that he "needed me inside him" before I left. Having just accepted that I’m gay, we had sex. Only later did I learn about the floor-wide bet about me being gay. I still don’t know if my roommate fucked me for fun or for 5 cases of beer. FML

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By "ironyyyyyyy" -_- - United States - Marion

Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness of pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML

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By Mary C. - United States - Mendota

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

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By Bartender - United States - Saint Paul

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

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By amy1023 - United States

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

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By Notadrugdealer

So I got that goin' for me, which is nice...

Today, I was just browsing Facebook when my friend sent me a GoFundMe link. Someone wrote a page saying I killed myself and that we need money for funeral services. People are actually donating to it. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Mundelein

Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML

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By Ben - United States

Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML

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By thanks ma - 29/5/2020 02:00

Today, on Judge Judy…

Today, all of my credit cards were frozen due to fraud. The culprit? My own mother. She rationalized it by saying I "owed" her for raising me. She didn’t even raise me. My grandma did. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Clifton

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

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By ambrosia

Today, I saw my boyfriend cutting the crusts off his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He’s 24. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Johnson City

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

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By minime94 - United States - Sunset

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

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By WTFisMyLife

Today, my boyfriend whipped out his proverbial notebook, where he obviously keeps notes of what I do and how I act during sex, and then grilled me about every single one of those things. Now I'm scared to do anything because I don't want to be interrogated about it later. FML

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Top comments

By JaneSimple | 23

#7976563 - Sunday 7 March 2021 4:09

Guessing good old USA, huh? 😑

By rainbowdonnareed | 17

#7976553 - Sunday 7 March 2021 2:49

Call the company that makes it and see if they can help.
Talk to your doctor as well.
Call the MS foundation

COMMENTS

By Hailstorm92 | 9

#7976549 - Sunday 7 March 2021 2:20

Thc or cannabis has been proven to help with that.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7976550 - Sunday 7 March 2021 2:33

I didn't know Microsoft made medicine. They overcharge for everything!

By rainbowdonnareed | 17

#7976553 - Sunday 7 March 2021 2:49

Call the company that makes it and see if they can help.
Talk to your doctor as well.
Call the MS foundation

Reply

drm72 | 8

#7976564 - Sunday 7 March 2021 4:39

my sister in law has the same problem. The manufacturer and Obamacare helped her out. She can't get everything she needs, but she has some meds anyway.

By rainbowdonnareed | 17

#7976556 - Sunday 7 March 2021 2:53

"Multiple Sclerosis Support Online | MS Social Network - MyMSTeam" https://www.mymsteam.com?keyword=ms%20groups&utm_campaign=Multiple_Sclerosis&device=m&utm_source=adwords&utm_term=ms%20groups&utm_medium=Search&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7YyCBhD_ARIsALkj54opoughmdIXcVrzf2zBQzvqkOTI54SFvep8p3ymHA_0vD-bCurdzmQaAm0TEALw_wcB

By JaneSimple | 23

#7976563 - Sunday 7 March 2021 4:09

Guessing good old USA, huh? 😑

Reply

Saeedat Adesokan | 2

#7976731 - Sunday 7 March 2021 19:00

It says Brazil...

Reply

tounces7 | 27

#7976813 - Monday 8 March 2021 4:48

No it doesn't it says anonymous.

By Nhayaa2.0 | 10

#7976568 - Sunday 7 March 2021 5:23

Aaaaah USA... I always feel sorry but not sorry. But, good luck, I hope you'll find some help.

By Darlene King | 3

#7976789 - Monday 8 March 2021 0:40

Astra Zeneca may be able to help. My chemo pills are $15,000 a month. I filled out some paperwork and I get them for free.

By coius | 23

#7977140 - Tuesday 9 March 2021 7:10

Welcome to America, where your life is only worth how much you can’t afford.

By Ali Nayeri | 4

#7978658 - Monday 15 March 2021 16:00

That's horrible. My friend has MS but in UK NHS pays for almost all of it