Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML
Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
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Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.
josebeto1 6
****** up bro, hope you don't lose it
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Comments (289)
psych10 4
Why do some of you assholes put 'you deserved it' on horrible stories like this one? 'today, my wonderful, loving mother died in a horrible accident, FML' "oh yeah, they definitely deserved that!!'
jlperry31 10
I thought woman were born with less runs, there for his comment would make him look stupid
jlperry31 10
scratch my last comment. I'm wrong, I could have sworn women had less ribs
Pendragon525 0
I think the confusion is not with more or less ribs, but with floating ribs, which have to do with pregnancy.
jlperry31 10
actually these days all people have the exact same amount if ribs as the other. only in biblical days does this apply for Adam. not for all humans afterwards
Twon4 2
So sorry to hear about the cancer man. I hope everything turns out ok.
Akers_L7 8
I feel so sorry for you, I just hope that you've had a child. I'll keep you in my prayers.
dynky 3
He has CANCER and your first thought is that you hope he's had a child? Wow. Firstly, you don't even know whether he wants children, and secondly, there are other ways to have them (adoption, sperm donation,...). Thirdly, I doubt that's top of his list of things to worry about right now, given that he has cancer and all. OP, I just hope you get better.
Akers_L7 8
Wow, no need to be like that. All i hoped was that he at least had a child. Your making it seem like i don't even care...
ccovey 2
That's awful. Stay strong brother. You can get through it.
Volti_fml 0
that sucks... but sorry to ask. don't women have Less ribs than men? more room for carrying a baby and all that? so having more ribs makes you more if a man. right?
hzmtfc 0
Sorry bro, you should have knocked the Dr teeth what a duche
cul8r 4
Same idea from me: Freeze as much of your semen as you can! You won't regret it!