Money: Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student...

By ... - 02/01/2012 06:45 - United States

Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 850

You deserved it 4 408

Money

Taking stock

Freak out

Feeling ripped off

By mommylife - 15/04/2015 04:17 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 736

You deserved it 3 939

Spanish inquisition

By Anonymous - 01/11/2021 05:00

Today, my mother-in-law, who lives with us rent-free, still daily tries to get my wife to divorce me and marry a decent Catholic boy who is actually Irish, unlike me who was born in France, even though we’ve been married 23 years and have three kids together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 29/01/2010 01:12 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 955

You deserved it 2 651

By ImNotFat - 18/02/2015 04:22 - New Zealand

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 866

You deserved it 3 263

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 649

You deserved it 3 230

By drunkboysgf - 21/10/2011 07:39 - Canada

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 542

You deserved it 5 206

By Snurkles - 07/07/2011 12:19 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 023

You deserved it 7 063

By Mike Polk - 03/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 5 905

By mimabee - 14/06/2011 13:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 646

You deserved it 13 800

By HomelessGirl1 - 21/05/2012 05:28 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 721

You deserved it 10 801

By NeitherHrotsvitNorErkembaldus - 29/07/2016 21:21 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I learned that the hardest part of marrying a historian is choosing baby names. His top choices derive from two Roman magistrates, two abbesses, a tenth-century author, and an obscure Greek official. I already let him name our pug, for whom he chose the name "Tertullianus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 566

You deserved it 1 472

By some_girl_19 - 05/08/2009 13:04 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 001

You deserved it 9 404

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 572

You deserved it 3 463

By Anonymous - 05/07/2015 05:42 - United States - Tampa

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 2 524

By hangman - 01/08/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 674

You deserved it 4 515

By ClumsyBarista - 20/12/2016 05:04 - United States - Springfield

Today, while serving a line of ten customers by myself at the coffee shop I work at, I knocked over a cup of steaming hot milk and it went all over the coffee bar, espresso machine, floor, and myself. I then had to act like everything was fine and make a line of drinks with milk everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 929

You deserved it 1 035

By SadFace - 07/03/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 210

You deserved it 4 929

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 00:00 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 293

You deserved it 5 082

By Crazy Crazy Crazy - 13/09/2013 00:01 - Canada - Burlington

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 980

You deserved it 7 963

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 064

You deserved it 4 080

By leftout - 25/12/2015 05:51 - United States - Whitney

Today, I spent the holiday with my husband's big family. They suggested we take a family picture, but two people were purposely left out of it. I was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 207

You deserved it 1 646

By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 04:16 - United States - El Cajon

Today, my psycho landlord threatened to take me to court if I don't pay my rent on time this month. I'd totally understand if he weren't my father-in-law, and if the reason I didn't pay on time before was because of hospital fees I'd incurred for an emergency appendectomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 937

You deserved it 2 621

By Luke - 10/09/2015 05:56 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was robbed. I didn't know how the robber got in, as there was no clear signs of forced entry. I later found out that my psycho ex had written my address on the key I lent her when we were going out. And then purposely left it on a table in a café. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 175

You deserved it 2 596

By BigBadTron - 15/05/2009 17:10 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 735

You deserved it 3 199

By Neversleepingthereagain - 28/02/2013 19:00 - United States - Manchester

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 561

You deserved it 4 913

My kingdom for a lock

By IAmJacksDeflatedHappiness - 19/10/2021 23:00

Today, I asked my family not to disturb me while I slept, as I had hit over 72 hours of insomnia. My family must have heard me say, “Come in every 20 minutes and wake me up with whatever banal shit you can think of.” I gave up when my mother-in-law decided to enter my room and start vacuuming the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 93

By only my life - 22/04/2014 22:21 - United States - Concord

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 732

You deserved it 6 708

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 648

You deserved it 858

By Shauna - 08/11/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 159

You deserved it 2 562

Stuck

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, while on my way to deliver aluminum to a customer on top of a really steep hill, there wasn't enough room to do a U-turn without clipping a vehicle. I had to go through some mud, so now the company semi is bumper-deep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 03/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 621

You deserved it 31 992

Gamers rise up

By Bruh. - 12/07/2021 04:01

Today, despite the fact that I've lived alone for four years, and have a well-paid job, my father is still whining about, "Why am I still playing video games at age 32?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 118

By Earlybird76 - 04/04/2017 09:00 - Canada - Richmond

Today, after 6 months of unemployment and jobs searching, I showed up to my new job 10 minutes early. My new supervisor confusedly greeted me and informed me I was in fact a week and 10 minutes early. HR changed my start date and told everyone but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 396

You deserved it 322

By NotThePotty - 19/10/2015 10:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, according to daycare, my son is behind in his potty training curriculum because we are not "celebrating his natural bodily functions" enough. He turned 2 a week ago, and he peed on our bed last night because we're trying to meet this demand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 413

You deserved it 2 975

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 23:50 - Brazil

Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding "Yes! of course I will go!". After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, 2 ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 051

You deserved it 5 734

By Gamergirl137 - 16/01/2016 02:28 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 425

You deserved it 2 580

By Username - 17/08/2011 23:37 - United States

Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 664

You deserved it 41 724

SORRY!

By imsorry - 14/01/2015 23:57 - United States - Oakland

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 098

You deserved it 7 769

By JaneVI - 10/02/2011 22:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I got an e-mail from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 2 906

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 14:58 - United States - Redlands

Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 657

You deserved it 1 822

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Top comments

fancyclown 9

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:55

"But honey, the nice man in the email said I was the lucky visitor!"

ByronJess 17

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:54

That's why you always handle that kind of stuff yourself.

sufferinurjocks 3

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:53

Ohh, sucks to be you.

ByronJess 17

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:54

That's why you always handle that kind of stuff yourself.

NeatNit 32

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:07

Mothers, huh? I'll bet she won't even accept that she did anything wrong.

honeybuncher 3

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:07

Exactly! If you want something to get done, it is best to do it yourself.

qwertsarecool122 23

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:40

With the million dollars that's going to be sent at your house, why care about collage now?

Keyman1212 14

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:59

You'd probably care just to learn how to spell college.

ZDK5498 6

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Monday 2 January 2012 17:47

FIND THAT SCAMMER AND KICK THEIR ASS!

murdersquirrel 15

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Monday 2 January 2012 18:10

I love a good collage. Matisse made some great cut paper collages toward the end of his career. Don't knock collage.

debbster7 18

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Tuesday 29 May 2012 19:35

My mother did this. Then I had to go see a lawyer about getting my stolen identity fixed.

fancyclown 9

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:55

"But honey, the nice man in the email said I was the lucky visitor!"

slushpup9696 12

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:57

I hate when I'm the millionth visitor twice in a row.

DooleyFTW 17

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:42

You won't be complaining when you win a new iPhone 4 or a flashy new iPad 2 or maybe even a million dollars!

NeatNit 32

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Monday 2 January 2012 14:00

http://xkcd.com/570/

DKjazz 20

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Monday 2 January 2012 14:24

I know exactly which xkcd that is. It's the one with the car. I'm going to go check if I'm right. EDIT: Yup, that's the one.

DerpyDerpson 12

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:55

You shouldn't worry. This site was actually for real and tomorrow you'll wake up with a 5 lbs lighter body!

xSonic 9

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:57

You derp

derpster 7

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Tuesday 3 January 2012 6:58

derpyderpson? are we related?

cBlackout 13

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:57

Well at least you get a free iPad.

GVirdi 11

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:50

Or laptop/gaming console/phone/music player

godlike1 5

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Monday 2 January 2012 14:53

Yeah, you ruined it.

Shadow_Phantom 26

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Monday 2 January 2012 11:57

Parents seem to be technologically impaired like that...

fuckoffbabe 3

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Monday 2 January 2012 20:09

Mom's especially.

Aiden Stubblefield 9

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Monday 7 August 2017 12:44

yeah ussualy, not all tho, my dad knows atleast 6 programming languages and does computer science stuff.

getoustahere 7

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:01

She's not the brightest crayon in the box, now is she?

KeyboardWarrior 10

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Monday 2 January 2012 18:04

Again, thank you captain obvious.

getoustahere 7

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Monday 2 January 2012 18:32

You're welcome sergeant sarcasm!

zombicidal 11

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Monday 2 January 2012 18:43

sir yes sir major stupidity!!!

okiidokii_fml 6

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Monday 2 January 2012 20:26

Haha keyboard warrior got owned

KeyboardWarrior 10

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Monday 2 January 2012 22:19

Haha you're an idiot. It was sarcasm, I see no owning here.

getoustahere 7

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Monday 2 January 2012 23:43

It's cuz you're Canadian lol ;D

KeyboardWarrior 10

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Tuesday 3 January 2012 0:44

I'm sorry 69, it seems I'm on a spree of insults and losing arguments. I should calm down and accept defeat.

ChaosAngel17 14

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:03

So I'm guessing that you were not accepted?

EminGH 7

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:31

That's absurd.

cosmosis 12

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Monday 2 January 2012 13:20

So is that face you're pulling in your display picture. Lol

macdaddymady 8

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:03

I would be scared if I were you, very very scared. I get paranoid about this kinda crap.

GVirdi 11

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:53

I'd be really happy to win a free expensive item or a lot of money for being the millionth visitor!

Omit 4

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Tuesday 3 January 2012 4:33

Still.. Ur killin it..

ChaPStikkWhoRe 0

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Monday 2 January 2012 12:14

Maybe an institute of higher learning isn't for you. School's provide the correct website to apply for financial aid. Can you say, "Welcome to McDonald's may I take your order?"