derpster

About Derpster

hello, stalker. i'm derpster. YES THAT IS MY REAL NAME. my hobbies include FML, trolling and... that's about it. use "their" "they're" and "there" correctly. and prepare to be corrected if you don't. also, i have an passionate respect for: •DocBastard •Flockz •Perdix •MrMisfit •Derpstra (wifey) •Shroomsonacid •Graham11 •Gurggle :-) and your firstborn child. chuck norris also. hugs & kisses.

Derpster - Followers

Derpster - Followed

Derpster's page visits

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Hugged!

Derpster's FML badges

Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
Back from the party
An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
A new thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

2%
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.

0%
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

0%
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

1%
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

26,400%
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

7%
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

33%
YDI Master
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

7%
Judgmental
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

37%
50 favorites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

48%
50 quality comments
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

70%
100 kick-ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

40%
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

0%

The list of badges to find

Derpster's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Jean / Thursday 22 December 2011 08:09 / United Kingdom

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By smith - / Saturday 28 January 2012 03:13 / United Kingdom

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By replik / Wednesday 25 January 2012 15:50 / Russian Federation

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By suffersecks / Friday 20 January 2012 23:54 / United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By iheartmorons / Saturday 14 January 2012 14:31 / United Kingdom

More

Beginner

Up and coming moderator

I agree, my mouse works.

Back from the party

Consolation prize

A new thumb

It's in the can!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

The return of the thumb

The thumb strikes back

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

Mobility

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

Who’s the fairest of them all?

YDI Master

Judgmental

50 favorites

50 quality comments

100 kick-ass comments

One more and it's business time