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There is nothing wrong with having sex out of marriage. Geeze, get out the fucking dark ages already. Considering how many marriages actually end in divorce (I work in a daycare, and you'd be suprised how many kids are with single parents or parents who seperated) I think its better to be together before marriage, and figure things out. And this Fmylife was pretty vague in details. How does OP even know for sure that those flowers were some sign of love from another chick. Maybe the girl giving the flowers was just his friend, and congratulating him on becoming a Daddy.
'His' kid? Not 'our' kid? Hmm, someone isn't happy, although receiving flowers doesn't mean that he automatically is cheating, you know.
At least he gave them to you..? It still seems to me like you are his priority and he isn't showing signs of leaving you, so confront him about the skank and make it absolutely clear that it's not cool.
I'm failing to see how she's the skank in this scenario. The boyfriend is the cheater, not the random girl he's supposedly screwing. More women need to stand up for themselves and not target the 'other woman' when she's potentially in the same boat. It's so juvenile. Dump him and find someone that will take care of you and your child the right way, OP.
I can just see the comments now: "YDI! Whore. That's what you get for having a baby out of wedlock." LMAO. Yes, because it's a proven scientific fact that marriage stops cheating.
I don't believe that the purpose of marriage was to prevent cheating. I thought it was one of the many things that are implied by it and that you should abide by, but I thought that commiting yourself to a person was supposed to prevent it, whatever context it is, bf/gf or marriage.
I agree with you 100%. I wasn't trying to imply that people get married to prevent cheating, I was just pre-empting the trolls who would undoubtedly blame the poster because her relationship with the father of her child hadn't reached the "appropriate" level of committment (already the OP has been blamed for allowing her boyfriends genes to continue on by having his child). As you say, when you commit yourself to someone, monogamy should be a given whether you're married, engaged or just dating. Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way. My view is that if a person is going to cheat, he's going to cheat and it doesn't matter how "official" the "committment" is.
I don't agree that they "should" be married. At all. Whether they choose to sign a piece of paper to show their love for each other, or not, is entirely up to them and I don't care either way. The whole point of my post has been missed. I only wish I had thrown in the "YDI for making sure his genes survives another generation" angle too (because it's the OPs fault she only found out he could be a cheating scumbag after having his child *rolss eyes*). I was just laughing up-front at all the absurd things the trolls on here could possibly say to mak it the OPs fault.
Actually, she deserves it for having a child with him without a commitment from him. She has made a lifelong commitment to raise his child. He is free to do what he wants and maybe pay some child support. Meanwhile, she has lowered her own desirability to other men in several ways. She deserves it for being stupid.
If she had known him better before having his kid, then she would have known he was a cheating scumbag. Your whole argument is invalidated by the simple fact that she committed herself to raising a child and made herself less attractive to other men for someone she didn't really know.
Perhaps she was under the impression that he was committed. Cheaters are liars, after all. (that's if he's cheating). I know a couple who have been together for 30 years (and they've had 3 kids) and they only got married last year because he accepted a job in the middle east and he couldn't take her otherwise. Although I agree that marriage is a wonderful way to express your undying devotion and committment to someone, I don't believe it's the only way. Besides, for all we know, the pregnacy could have been an accident. And we can't even assume that's her fault for not taking precautions. I know of at least 6 children who were conceived despite the mothers using contraception. You can't blame the OP for finding out her boyfriend is less committed than he led on.
So, you're saying it's the OPs fault for believing she knew someone better than she did? You're saying it's her fault that she was lied to? Would it be any less her fault if they were married? There are men who lead double lives - they have whole other families! And it takes the wives several years, and a couple of kids, to even find out about it (if they ever find out). Your whole arguement is invalidated by the simple fact that even if they had been married, it would just add "divorcee" to her dating resume.
I don't know what you don't get. A girl gave him flowers. He turned around and gave the flowers to his girlfriend. Not only did he not bother to buy his gf flowers himself, but the implication is that he was cheating on her with this girl, which is why she bought him flowers in the first place.