By damn - 04/01/2013 14:08 - Australia - Sydney
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@76 - I wouldn't be so sure. When people get in a fight, they try to cast themselves in the best possible light and the other person they were fighting with in the worst. If OP said anything along the lines of "either stay away from her or we're done," then she totally deserves this.
Se never said he was hooking up with the friend or getting into a relationship with the friend in fact even as a slighted ex she just says a close friend ... I think OP realizes that she was wrong maybe the flowers were an apology for the friend for all we know OP had harassed the friend or the guy may be saying you think I'm doing it you accuse me of it so I'm going to see what happens if I really do go on a date with her.
Eh, I was in a 5 year relationship with a guy and I was never comfortable about one of his "friendships" with a girl he was *very* close to. A change in employment forced me to move halfway across the country, at which point they moved in together while he and I were still dating (he told me about this after we broke up) and now they're dating. So no, sometimes the paranoia is completely justified.
Look on the bright side, at least it's over. Obviously she was who he wanted to be with and in the end you were just going to get hurt, be thankful it's over now as opposed to later.
I lost plenty of girlfriends for my homegirl and I don't miss any one of them. My homegirl been there through all my ups and downs, before I ever even had a girlfriend and she is still here. I wouldn't choose any girlfriend over her.
Just because a guy is close friends with a girl doesn't mean there is any sort if love interest, and even if there was, it shouldn't be considered unacceptable for someone to be friend zoned. If a girl/boy doesn't want to date their best friend because they're not attracted to them, so be it. It's much nicer to friend zone people rather than break their heart later on.
If everyone most know. I knew her since I was nine, we have been through everything and I mean everything her mom was there when my mother left me and her mom took me in and raised me as her son. I was there when her mom caught cancer and was there every step of her recovery. I was there while her brother discovered he was gay and caught H.I.V. I look at her and her family as my own and blood would not make us any closer. The reason I'm not dating her is because I'm too scared to lose her. There any other questions?
As long as they are truly just friends, there shouldn't be a problem.... I have a close fiend that my wife has met an knows it's just platonic. If you're not comfortable with it, there are obviously trust issues you need to work on
My boyfriend had a girl he was friends with but I didn't trust HER. Turns out I was right cause she thought they were gonna get together knowing he was only in for a friendship and didn't have a girlfriend. Clearly she had a right to be on edge. My boyfriend and I had plenty of arguments about his crazy friend until he finally saw what I was seeing
17: Yeah the same kind of thing happened with me and my boyfriend. His friend's girlfriend has this weird little fixation on the idea that they were "a love lost" and she was always making eyes at him and acting resentfully towards me. She even attempted (and failed) to flirt with him in front of me and her boyfriend. We didn't argue as such but we did have a lot of frustrating conversations. He finally saw it when she threw herself at him when I was sat next to him. Poor sod never saw it coming, he was disgusted xD
Yeah he finally saw it when she flipped out on him and was like "all guys do this to me! They screw me over!" Point being, people may think I have trust issues with him. Yes he cheated on me once and I do have some reservations sometimes but I trust him, I however trust my gut feeling when someone is throwing themselves at our boyfriend we usually pick up on it even when the guys don't
shouldn't matter who's hitting on your boyfriend. If you trusted him, you'd trust him to make the right decision and decline her advances. It's clear you don't though because otherwise you'd find it amusing that other women want your man but can't have him, or yo'd be flattered, or you would find your guy more desirable. However you saw her as a threat which means on some level you never trusted your boyfriend either
Actually the reason I did not like her is cause she always got him drunk or high and made him blow his money. I trusted him not to do anything, I did not trust her with everything she said to him. And he did turn her down multiple times before just ending the friendship when he saw how nuts she was
Who started the fight? I'm going to take a guess and say you. If he had any doubts about your relationship, you made those doubts become real in his mind and he dumped you. If they were just friends, maybe your jealousy made you push the subject too hard. Either way, you lost. Sorry.
Everyone is missing this... Clearly they weren't just friends if he's buying flowers for this girl, unless he's just a spiteful sob of a boy. They have something there, such as him thinking he has feelings for the other woman. OP picked up on that. She had a right to argue with him if he's now with the other girl.
26 - He probably did have feelings for her, but wouldn't act on them because he was happy with OP. You can be attracted to people while in a relationship and not even consider cheating. The argument with OP revealed that there were some trust issues and probably just made him reevaluate their relationship.
As a girl, I have to say that I completely agree. If OP was the one that picked the fight, she kind of had it coming. If you're constantly accusing sometime of cheating (which is what I presume happened, considering a breakup is never *really* out of the blue) then after a while, they're going to, because why not? A relationship is built on trust, and if you can't trust someone, your relationship is doomed. Nobody wants to date a person that is jealous and controlling, male or female.
As someone who has been cheated on, I know how difficult it is to see your partner close to someone else. There is such a thing as emotional cheating, you don't have to be in a physical affair for your partner to feel betrayed. After I was cheated on (physically) by my ex, I decided to stay with him because he was so remorseful and I really thought we could get through it, but after that I couldn't trust him to talk to any girl that wasn't me, and I felt like he cheated emotionally many times after that and actually did start dating someone who I had suspected he had feelings for after we broke up. What I'm trying to say is sometimes there are very good reasons to be jealous, and if OP felt like her boyfriend wasn't being completely honest about his relationship with his friend, then she had every right to confront him about it, and she was obviously right seeing as her boyfriend left her for his friend.
Please don't take this offensively, but if you're still harboring trust issues from previous relationships, you're probably not in a very good position to be in a new one, and again, I say that with only the best intentions. Still, I don't think there is ever a good reason to be jealous, even though I can see why someone would feel that way. If you're not totally healed of your past scars before you head into a new relationship, you're bringing some really toxic stuff along with you, and that's not the other person's fault or problem, nor should it be.
And, nowhere in this post did it say that he left her for his friend. He probably decided that if she was going to keep thinking that he was cheating, then he might as well just leave and be happy with someone else. I would've done the exact same thing in his place.
He left, and I don't blame him. We've established this. I've also already admitted that cheating leaves scars. That entire post was about the fact that you need to let those scars heal before going into a new relationship. It isn't rocket science to realize that you can't have a happy relationship if you aren't happy on your own. If you're truly committed to a person, those things shouldn't even be issues. And no, I wouldn't like to see my ex with flowers for another girl, but that also wouldn't be a problem for me because I wouldn't drive him away.
He doesn't deserve you OP, get out and go find a guy thats not full of himself. Unfortunately when it comes to us guys there are assholes....
Absolutely! I'm ashamed of my gender sometimes when it comes to relationships, girls never seem to take the blame for this stuff. Yes, guys can be assholes, but girls can be bitches too. And everyone here is giving her sympathy for picking a fight with, and getting dumped by her boyfriend, who was apparently "too close," in her mind, to a female friend. What??? If I were the boy, I'd have done the same thing. Clearly the friend was a better option than OP, probably because she wasn't fighting tooth and nail to hang onto him. If a person feels suffocated, THEY WILL LEAVE YOU. It isn't rocket science.
Those poor flowers couldn't be left in the car. He would have needed to leave the window open so they could get fresh air. You always hear horror stories of flowers being left unattending in cars and suffocating. Oh wait that's children and animals...not flowers. What a dick.