Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML
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Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML
Today, my neighbor told me to stop pushing the elevator buttons and opening doors with my feet. I bitched him out, because he's been making a huge issue out of it for months. Right after, I realized I forgot my keys inside and he's the only person around who could let me back into the building. FML
Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my apartment. I've just realized that I could have spent $30 on an Uber or Lyft to my parents' place to grab the other set of keys instead of calling a locksmith and paying $280 for him to drill a hole through my doorknob, rendering all my keys useless. FML
Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML
Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML
Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML
Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML
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Top comments
gun6slinger9 9
Well op it looks like you are also dating a doorknob
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Ask him why the key to his car doesn't open others cars that are the same as his.
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Comments (85)
gun6slinger9 9
Well op it looks like you are also dating a doorknob
PinkieKeen 20
What is the US turning into??!
TheCanucklehead 22
Fat? Stupid?
AbstraktThoughts 13
20: Whoa, whoa, whoa. America has been overtaken by Mexico in being the fattest country in the world. Just sayin. Haha
assassinbanana0 20
No need to be stereotypical. Just because there are those kind of people here doesn't mean they all are There are people like that everywhere, no need to be so rude
webbface 25
20, that was PERFECT.
CoolRainbowdash 15
Mexico did not overtake Americ! Through I agree it's the second fattest country. (I'm from Mexico)
ViRepz 28
Fairly certain Australia is the second fatest per capita.
chosha_fml 26
I don't know about that. Aussies do love playing sport.
nurchok 15
Some people, eh?
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
Australia is fourth fattest, behind #1 Mexico #2 US #3 NZ.
Cartera 10
o
mikuxxhatsune 32
Eh Australia has their fair share of fat and skinny people. Like most of the richer countries. Then you have the poorer countries like China, India, Africa etc. which have way more people and less paying jobs etc.
Gumby9o5 7
Ya never know lol
deathy94 14
Never know what? And who is this lol you speak of?
lickastick 27
League Of Llamas?
Ziggyboo 10
Layer of Lilies?
ilovera 7
He is a keeper
aintlifeapain 21
of knobs?
SolarFlare 20
keeper of a simple mind. sorry.
fml1365 30
*face smack* I think you deserve better, or I hope he's kidding.
DenBriZel 31
So you'd leave him just because he's not too smart? Okay then...
lickastick 27
There's a difference between not being smart and having general common sense.
KK3137 31
Common sense is not so common..
DenBriZel 31
Oh my... Sorry OP seems like your boyfriend is a dimwit. I'd talk carefully when explaining how the insides of doorknobs are all different..
Blink_me26 21
Sound reasoning.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Ask him why the key to his car doesn't open others cars that are the same as his.
RpiesSPIES 27
Actually, some older car model keys CAN open other cars of the same make and model. I recall a news story from a few years back when a man accidentally stole someone's car like that. Also, perhaps OP's boyfriend had been watching too much My Name Is Earl and figured your landlord bought his/her locks on wholesale as well :P
chosha_fml 26
#7 Duh, because they all hang different things from their rear view mirror. Obviously. :)
Kiwiscanfly 19
Imagine if all the keys did work on the same doors...
deathy94 14
Then there wouldn't be any keys...
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
I would steal all my neighbor's Nutella...*cackles maniacally*
corocoro 30
I hear his dad just finished putting glasses of it everywhere.
football98_fml 20
wow... im lost for words
DaDezza244 31
No you're not! You just commented on this FML :P. gotta love irony
katdaiken 16
I just LOL'd
olpally 32
Good to know... *rolls eyes*