FML : Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently,...

96

See the top FMLs

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Monday 8 June 2015 19:33 / United States - San Francisco

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By abNormal62 | 23

#6315084 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:57

Clearly not your "Prince Charmin"

By SweetSociopathy | 24

#6315094 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 9:01

Maybe you just rode the shit out of him.

Comments

By kayj905 | 15

#6315079 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:54

Thats a pretty shitty thing to do.

Reply

creatureman | 14

#6315111 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 9:20

You should feel bad about that pun.

Reply

Dave_Davington | 27

#6315180 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:25

You get a lot of shit for making puns like that, nowadays.

Reply

kayj905 | 15

#6315483 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 19:29

What about #4's comment?

Reply

Grenith | 21

#6315899 - Wednesday 10 June 2015 7:47

They tried harder than you.

By Nahpets | 22

#6315080 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:55

What a shitty expirience
FYL

Reply

larrena2377 | 26

#6315110 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 9:18

Experience*

Reply

MrConcise | 34

#6315426 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 17:51

Your profile picture added to your "shitty" spelling makes you seem perpetually high.

Reply

pinque | 19

#6317896 - Friday 12 June 2015 4:57

Really you couldn't have came up with something better

By abNormal62 | 23

#6315081 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:55

Clearly the lack of hygiene rubbed you the wrong way

By nityasomaiya | 46

#6315082 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:56

Oh poop! That's one hell of a shituation.

Reply

TheBelt | 19

#6315507 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 19:55

Now that's a pun

Reply

peacheso | 31

#6315548 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 21:19

#4s comment is original.

By Cads1 | 24

#6315083 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:56

Lol, is he still the man of your dreams?

Reply

sturschaedel | 27

#6315186 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:35

Not so dreamy now, I guess.

Reply

psychopolarbear | 28

#6315832 - Wednesday 10 June 2015 5:29

Technically, nightmares are dreams too. OP never specified if they were the "good" dreams or not lol

By abNormal62 | 23

#6315084 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:57

Clearly not your "Prince Charmin"

Reply

meliodafool_ | 15

#6315100 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 9:05

your wit is punbelievable.

Reply

smackaroonial | 20

#6315772 - Wednesday 10 June 2015 4:25

This is the most original, hilarious comment I have ever laid my eyes on. I hereby dub you, Comment King.

Reply

shay_serendipity | 29

#6315778 - Wednesday 10 June 2015 4:30

This is one of the few comments that actually made me laugh out loud, kudos to your witty pun!

Reply

RoboCunnilingus | 23

#6315874 - Wednesday 10 June 2015 7:05

Yeah, this comment is incredibly clever.

By alex_622 | 22

#6315085 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:57

Sorry OP. Maybe it's time to find a new man of your dreams...one that uses toilet paper

By nityasomaiya | 46

#6315086 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:58

Doesn't he even believe in using the washroom?

By tellyc | 26

#6315087 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:58

Maybe you could introduce him to some toilet paper

Reply

gintwinsmoore | 20

#6315297 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 13:54

nah, #9, that's just too much work!

Reply

Arwen_Evenstar | 37

#6315355 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 15:33

There are some imperfections a partner shouldn't have to fix.

By drshn | 22

#6315089 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:59

Oh god!! not a good start to the for day for both of us.
You, for experiencing it and for me due to reading.

Similar

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool,...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?"....

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I heard my husband repeating the name “Kristen” in his sleep. I’m not Kristen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

Loading data…

Today, my boss gave our coffee machine to her sister-in-law. I work in a cafe. FML

Today, I met a really sweet cute guy on a dinner date. Too bad he was the waiter instead of my date. FML

See all the World FMLs

See all FML photos