Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML
Today, at work, the shopping carts have coin locks on them so people put them back or don't go stealing them. A lady couldn't find a coin, so I unlocked one with my key and said to her, "It doesn't look like you will run off and steal it" as a joke. She replied, "I can't run darling, I have an artificial leg." FML
Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML
Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML
Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML
Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
It's important to use protection. An eight inch black lockable one is sure to be safe.
devildog562 33
"Once you go black, you're going to need a wheelchair."
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Comments (62)
Welshite 40
It's important to use protection. An eight inch black lockable one is sure to be safe.
cinskeep43 15
the only thing more impressive would be an eight inch white one...
Arestian 14
gotta make sure u put the right key in the in the right hole XD
noah_1234 24
wow,fascinating how dirty peoples minds are becoming...
PurpZilla 13
Be careful of those ones, I heard they bite if you get too close :o
Zebediabolical 45
... there is no wrong hole.
Nicholas12 15
35 you just had to ruin it didn't you
doctorhook86 25
#43: The irony is that, with a name like "PurpZilla", #35 should've been an ideal contributor to a conversation about dicks and ******.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Dirty minds, unite!
weveallbeenthere 30
I wonder if the boss thinks 8" is to big or to small.
Shiny_nickels 14
We shall crush "normal" society and unleash ANARCHY!!!!!!
lexiieeex3 32
I don't think the size had anything to do with OP's boss's reaction...
daken96 21
She had that one cumming.
devildog562 33
"Once you go black, you're going to need a wheelchair."
cakefete2 31
What's that? I couldn't hear you. I went black once and went deaf.
doctorhook86 25
#22: I went black and became Samuel L. Jackson.
weveallbeenthere 30
it's not the size or color that's important. protection is. your boss sounds like fun.
Vegetarian27 24
It's not the meat, it's the motion.
Dongeles 3
At least your boss has a good sense of humor. Its better than a boring boss.
Liyuesigs 8
I am not sure it's the sense of humor at work here.
vikky538 29
naughty boss ....
ShitHappen_fml 15
She has shown the way she thinks
tony1891 22
guess this is a case of choose your words carefully next time.
llamarrama01 21
Better than having a total hard ass as a boss
sarah5745 41
Definitely better, for sure
Ichiya 29
It would be much harder to use the 8" black one then.
doctorhook86 25
#37: Because erection! ...I'm bad at jokes.
worldclassrager 41
Safe would have been a good add on