By bleach bleach bleach - 22/12/2013 17:22 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 824
You deserved it 7 744

Same thing different taste

Top comments

well, it's called self-meditation for a reason, i guess.

For all you women out there, EVERY guy has tried this at least once. And any guy who denies trying it is lying his ass off.


I wouldn't admit to wanting to suck my own dick. That's just... Wrong... So ******* wrong.

OK story time! Being in a Navy barracks, we actually had to share a 4 man room for our first 3 months. My roommates and I came back late from being out, albeit a bit drunk, and actually ran into our fourth roommate hunched on his back with his feet on the bed, trying it out. We asked him wtf he was doing, and he tried to convince us that it was natural....that it tasted like "roast beef"... The scary part is that DONCAF, the Department of the Navy Central Adjudication Facility, kicked him out of our job, and we later learned that he went HM (Hospital Corpsman) after they labeled him a "Sexual Deviant". Apparently when they interviewed his friends for the security clearance they came across very weird reports. Always nice to know now that someone labeled a deviant still has authority to put you under anesthetics....

I should have mentioned this happened 5 years ago when we all shared the room. Checking his profile on FB, he just made HM3, which means he's still in, yet his FB is full of sock fetish photos....this is why I'm getting out.

Somuchart 3

Holy shit, so you're telling me this only takes a month...

43, sock fetish? Like a sock is better than the actual thing, or like Lamp Chops is going to blow him? I need to know, this could ruin a childhood favorite!!

the guy has tons of pics of his multi-colored toe socks.....

47, I had an ex whose best friend had a sock fetish. He didn't have a sexual desire for the sock itself. He equated it to anticipation of walking around in the dark with just socks on his feet. The anticipation, he said, was knowing he could potentially step in a melted ice cube puddle, on a Lego, etc. It had to do with sensory arousal mixed with the aforementioned anticipation. I guess it titilated him. Toe socks freaked him out though.

at least he was motivating himself towards something

incoherentrmblr 21

This was actually done in one of the band Tool's album inlets. It was... different...

Research shows that only 2 percent of men can successfully accomplish the feat of reaching, and only half of that two percent can go any further than simply the tip. So if your father could, by chance do this, then he is a very rare and talented specimen. Though anyone who calls this wrong must have a problem with Masturbation.

It's actually impossible to suck yourself off. You'd need to have your bottom rib removed, on both sides. I'm told it's not a fun experience

He didn't admit to it, he walked in on his dad

well, it's called self-meditation for a reason, i guess.

triplebeerox 27

I didn't know it was actually possible. Reminds me of that SNL skit with Will Farrell where he does yoga for the same exact reason...

It's rare apparently, but possible. Huh.

One time a guy told me he was capable of doing that because he was born without the lower set of ribs... Oh the things you learn on Omegle! :)

There is/was a rumour that Marilyn Manson got some ribs removed so he could suck his own rod, but i don't think it's true. Still funny though

@3, there was an episode of Nip/Tuck addressing it. I didn't think it was possible until I watched that. (I know it's just TV, but the actor spoke out about it afterward and said it was real, he's missing a part of his spine, I believe!) Youtube "Misha Collins Nip/Tuck scene". It's... enlightening.

N3766 20

have you watch short bus? it is possible in that movie.

JoeGrant 12

How is that even something you, and whoever else does it, joke about?

I agree, that is a weird thing to joke about your dad!

a. it's weird to joke about with your father b. who do you think put the idea in his head?

jaycee1209 5

There's that saying, "Be careful was you wish for", but in this case be careful what you talk about before you mention something like that lol.

Tried commenting so fast that you couldn't put a whole lot if thought into that comment?

dannnngthatsux 19

Naw, some people are sheltered a little more than others.

The question is whether he succeeded or not!

Goblin182 26

The question is did he suck seed.