Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Today, my neighbor, whom I've had a massive crush on but barely know, actually started flirting with me. Long story short, it ended with him getting a blowjob. I said, "We should make this a thing." He replied, "Yeah, a one-time thing." FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML
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Top comments
Kiebland 0
You should've bit down when he said that.
lolfood 24
You're an ass.
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Comments (68)
abbottizer 0
you made him wait a year.. i would have expected the greatest ******** ever. your ******* didn't meet his expectations. either give better head or do it often.
beachyballerina 12
Or maybe your just used to *****? (:
mizled 0
have to say you shoulda done it sooner. That's a whoooole other form of neglect. was he at least getting laid in the mean time?
ActualAtheist 14
That's not neglect, dumbass! She's under no obligation to blow him or have sex with him, sex is optional. Grow the **** up.
kenltd 0
I think you misunderstood him. What guy doesn't want the girl who gives him a ******* to be his best friend?
CAITx4OH1xCORE 0
#34! YES! so true!
RelentlessBoner 0
It's good you waited. If you hadn't he would have just dumped you earlier. I hope you made sure to kick him in his balls.
xaphon 0
to all you girls out there saying to kick him in the balls or bite while giving head because she had her feelings hurt are crazy and im all about equality i treat women and guys with the same respect if a girl kicked me in the nuts id probably sock her in the face since kicking her somewhere would in no way equal the same pain as being hit in the balls
jsmith1199 4
u should've swallowed. and good call, #47
ahhgingers 0
Guys are all the same. I knew something was bothering my FWB, and he denied that anything was wrong. No, he just let me give him another *******, then told me RIGHT AFTER that he was "kind of seeing someone else." uhhh..okay.
realmmaster 0
Thank god I'm not with any of the girls here. Say something they don't like and they will permenatly scar you. It's pretty simple. If you don't want to be a "friend with benifits", end it now. Better you know this now then find out later on.
ActualAtheist 14
I don't think that's why it's an FML. It's an FML because blowing him was something she obviously didn't want to do, hence why she waited a year. She's been wasting time with this guy for a year, and finally bent and gave him what he wanted. And THEN he ended it with her. If he had ended it before, it wouldn't be a big deal.
subarubabee 0
Okay, all those people who said that "You shouldn't have waited a year" or other stupid stuff like that, are being retarded. It's your desicion to wait or not and it is perfectly fine that you waited. That shouldn't be what the relationship is about....and the person who said if you are 14 waiting a year is okay, but if your 18. First of all, if you are 14 a year is definitly a good thing to do, but I believe it should be longer. And it is okay to wait a year if you are 18 or even 50. It was her desicion and she made a smart one. And this was definitly NOT her fault. If he broke up with you for this then you really deserve better and you should have bit down or whatever because he sounds like a major douche bag. #55 is right. You are better off without him, and everything she(?) said was true. I feel bad for you, I hope you find someone good.