Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Today, my neighbor, whom I've had a massive crush on but barely know, actually started flirting with me. Long story short, it ended with him getting a blowjob. I said, "We should make this a thing." He replied, "Yeah, a one-time thing." FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML
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Top comments
Kiebland 0
You should've bit down when he said that.
lolfood 24
You're an ass.
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Comments (68)
OXAMH 0
#55, so it's unreasonable that a guy might get disgruntled if after a year of an adult relationship nothing sexual had happened, and it's perfectly reasonable to punish him for that by seriously wounding him?
AnneFTW 17
Do NOT listen to the people who said "You should've done it more often." He dumped you once he got what he wanted- if you'd give him one straight away he would've dumped you then. It doesn't make a diffenece how long you left it. He's just going to use you for more favours in the future. He's just an ass & you're better off without him.
beachyballerina 12
Exactly. Thank you for proving a point.
silly_kate 0
some guys are pigs! he wanted head and he probs asked you to do it a million times, and you refused (good on ya, btw), and when you FINALLY do it, he says it's over. you should have kicked him in the balls!! my style is a lot more gorey, but, just so you DON'T end up in jail, just kick him in the balls!! revenge is always sweet! >:P!
genius_man16 1
I LOVE YOU It's a similar situation with marriages that don't have any sex in them. Sex (or whatever) is a healthy and necessary part of a relationship. Obviously it varies on how far you go, when you will do it, etc. But if he wanted to do sex stuff sooner and more often, it was bad FOR BOTH OF YOU to be in that relationship as you were clearly not the one who will give him what he wants. AND NO: he is not a "pig" for having wants and desires.
davek 36
wtf? guys don't usually friendzone girls, isn't it meant to be the other way around?
awkward_gothlady 32
They don't? I've been friendzoned enough to know it works both ways and I'm a girl.
Ferro_fml 0
Best friend with benefits. =D
ellie_naw 0
i've had something like that only it was 6 months and it was after we'd just gotten each other naked. we're best friends, with the occasional benefit ;) better than nothing
skylinediver 0
your bj probably sucked (no pun intended)
Nique_Nunchucks 0
Almost the same expiercence, I just wasn't giving him a ******** we were talking dirty on the phone. Even now when he calls he still wants to talk dirty.
fmylife_hardcore 0
I think that means he liked it. Cause he wants you to be his best friend. OMGSEXWITHOUTCOMMITMENT.