Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I accidentally put down the wrong year for my university graduation, so when my prospective boss was checking my references he found no mention of my name in that year's list of graduates. He accused me of faking my qualifications and refused to hire me. It was a 6-figure salary. FML
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML
Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for a journalism job interview, asking for him to take a look and give opinions about it. I accidentally e-mailed it to the job interviewer. She responded, and even CCed it to the CEO. FML
Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
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Top comments
canadapresch 0
Your American boss probably won't know there is a Prime Minister of Canada.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Did ya get the job?(:
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Comments (319)
ulicksam 0
So you obviously didn't even look it over for errors in grammer, spelling, etc. or to see that you didn't miss anything. And if your fake resume was for class, shouldn't you keep it separate from your real personal files? YDI.
CrazyManNo9 29
I apologize, but I can't possibly resist the irony. It is spelled "grammar" not "grammer". Unless, maybe you are discussing your parent's mother? LMAO!!! Spellcheck much? OMG!
gigglezbabii22 2
#31 Not trying to be rude or anything but, are you gay?
fthku 13
Yes. How appropriate to compare one, single spelling mistake, in a generally well written comment (a rarity here), to sending a resume without so much as LOOKING at it before.
Googolman 29
Maybe OP already checked for grammar and put his resume away, and picked it up again later to give to his boss. As for your second concern, maybe he didn't have his real resume in his personal files, and just had it lying around, causing him to pick up the wrong one.
kykyshay 0
Haha! Federal Gangster? That should open many doors for you!
rattusrattus 19
He said certified, but my history lessions tell me that a 'Federal Gangster' might be applicable to some members of the FBI - many accepted bribes over speakeasies in the 1920s. Or to put it another way: "Lay your hands on the table. Every sonofabitch wearing a diamond is fired."
kykyshay 0
Okay? Big whoop.
MissBunny25 0
somehow I sense 121 is somewhat new to FML..
jess6blondie9 3
I think so, too.
Doortje 30
I'd hire you. I wouldn't want to piss a certified gangster off.
OCDC 9
They might call the certified Mafia on you. I heard certified hit men are much more accurate than your average hit man.
fatalhit2 0
if I were your boss, I would just think WINNING and maybe this guy has tiger blood as well as being the former President of Canada.
ideasrule 13
Email the real copy and explain? Maybe your potential boss will get a good laugh out of it and appreciate your sense of humor.
sweet_candy_ 17
Time to apply for another job.
Roxxay 6
hahaha LOVE it !!!!
mk58 31
YDI for not looking your resume over before sending it. Although that is quite funny...
manutdfan992000 0
Cholo, eh?
enonymous 9
So you're an accredited Canadian gangster. Now residing up in Mass. When you tag or throw up gang signs do you also have to write it in French next to it? Also is there Canadian ebonics?