Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for...

By dumbass - 12/1/2017 09:37

Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for a journalism job interview, asking for him to take a look and give opinions about it. I accidentally e-mailed it to the job interviewer. She responded, and even CCed it to the CEO. FML

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Last dates

Fashion Police

That'll be Kevin in accounting

By Anonymous - 27/1/2017 18:25 - Australia - Brisbane

Growing old gracefully

Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/1/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/8/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

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By Amara1717 - 19/8/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

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By must.not.itch. - 2/6/2012 23:25 - United States - Hayward

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/1/2013 21:33 - United States - Carrollton

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

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By BobsBabe2 - 24/10/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

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By Allycat - 9/10/2013 01:19 - United States - Ronkonkoma

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

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By Nic - 22/7/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2017 04:30

Today, I got some news from two colleagues, one of whom just got married for the first time, and the other whose long-time wife was recently diagnosed with an advanced form of cancer. I wrote each of them a heartfelt note, which would've been thoughtful if I hadn't mixed up the recipients. FML

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By WitchQueenLiz - 28/6/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 11:01 - Canada

Smoked

Today, I washed my clothes in the shared laundry room. All my clothes came out smelling like smoke. FML

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By Goki - 6/6/2009 16:23 - Canada

Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 07:16 - United States

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

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By Hit-and-Run - 13/12/2012 08:01 - Mexico - Ju?rez

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

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By low_expectations - 19/8/2020 02:04

Zoom call from hell

Today, I was yelled at by my mom for not communicating to the rest of my family about the zoom call SHE planned and asked for. The call was to celebrate my birthday. Apparently, it was my responsibility to coordinate it. FML

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By Pickle - 3/3/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

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By Noname - 17/1/2009 13:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

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By lucy - 3/3/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

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By anonymous - 14/8/2011 01:17 - United States

Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/8/2016 11:49 - Australia

Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML

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By Bebefer - 15/3/2012 07:49 - United States

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

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By Anonymous - 6/3/2019 12:00

Today, I went to the location of me and my wife’s first date, because I miss her and barely get to see her because of our work schedules. Only to see her there on a date. FML

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By flop of shame - 17/8/2019 16:00

Today, I was walking into work holding a coffee and a bunch of other things. My employee saw me and held the door. I was almost there when I dropped my coffee, tried to catch it, tripped over the curb and fell flat on my face. I heard the door close while still lying there. FML

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By Garfield - 21/1/2016 04:41 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

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By Giggity - 21/2/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

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By can't win - 13/1/2015 16:25 - Australia

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

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By redmethod87 - 8/4/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML

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By its ok to cheat!? - 20/2/2013 21:52 - United States - Brisbane

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

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By Taylor - 23/2/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

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By Mikey832 - 9/8/2010 13:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

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By now sharing the blessing - 21/11/2018 23:00 - United States - New York

Today, while battling a severe flu, I was forced to come to work by my manager. Upon arrival, I discovered that a colleague he likes who should be covering for me is out today. The reason? Her shoes hurt. FML

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By just a joke - 8/6/2020 20:08

He has issues

Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML

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By oh no - 22/6/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/5/2011 19:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised just how grossly out of shape I am, when I started violently sweating, felt light-headed, and almost blacked out. All this from helping my sister shift a sofa from the move-in truck to her living room. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/6/2015 12:21 - Sweden - G?teborg

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/3/2013 03:17 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, after months of my doctor telling me that my heart palpitations are simply due to anxiety, and that I'm perfectly healthy, I decided to weight train to face my fears. Two hours later, I was in the emergency room. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/11/2010 18:04 - Canada

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

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By hatetheroommate - 16/4/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

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Top comments

By WhatHappenedToIt | 22

#7387150 - Thursday 12 January 2017 7:52

Isnt that a good thing then?

By SomeRandomUser | 19

#7387188 - Thursday 12 January 2017 10:01

I would really like to know how that went.

COMMENTS

By WhatHappenedToIt | 22

#7387150 - Thursday 12 January 2017 7:52

Isnt that a good thing then?

By SomeRandomUser | 19

#7387188 - Thursday 12 January 2017 10:01

I would really like to know how that went.

By greeneyebeauty9 | 28

#7387208 - Thursday 12 January 2017 10:38

This requires a follow-up.

By emijax | 13

#7387213 - Thursday 12 January 2017 10:43

Well did you get the job?!

By chirstinap325 | 21

#7387223 - Thursday 12 January 2017 11:14

Perhaps it was so amazing the interviewer wanted to show the top dogs of the company.

By Miss_080 | 21

#7387224 - Thursday 12 January 2017 11:16

But what if it was a brilliant piece she even wanted to bring it to the attention of the CEO?

By maritime1992 | 5

#7387231 - Thursday 12 January 2017 11:50

That's why you pay attention to the person you're sending it to before you hit send.

By sasquatchius | 3

#7387241 - Thursday 12 January 2017 12:13

The assignment? That sounds dodgy. Never work without getting paid for it.

By nonsensical | 26

#7387246 - Thursday 12 January 2017 12:26

Many places put you through a "test" or give you a small project to do so they can see what you can do. If you pass, then they'll give you an appointment for the interview, and if not then they won't waste anymore time.

By jcash52426 | 5

#7387260 - Thursday 12 January 2017 13:02

I agree but if this is a journalism they may want to see that you can gather facts and write an info on something with a deadline.