Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I accidentally put down the wrong year for my university graduation, so when my prospective boss was checking my references he found no mention of my name in that year's list of graduates. He accused me of faking my qualifications and refused to hire me. It was a 6-figure salary. FML
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML
Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for a journalism job interview, asking for him to take a look and give opinions about it. I accidentally e-mailed it to the job interviewer. She responded, and even CCed it to the CEO. FML
Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
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Top comments
canadapresch 0
Your American boss probably won't know there is a Prime Minister of Canada.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Did ya get the job?(:
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Comments (319)
joker1911 0
I would totally hire you! Thats some funny shit!
rinranthatway 4
I always check before I send things because I almost sent a nude photo of myself to a family member
jess6blondie9 3
No one cares. You could have said "I always check before I send things," and left it at that.
jess6blondie9 3
94. No one cares. You could have said "I always check before I send things," and left it at that.
amarie366 0
haha yeah no kidding, no body else wants to know about that..
jess6blondie9 3
My thoughts exactly(:
rallets 23
i kinda wanted to know :P
jess6blondie9 3
Well, you're also kinda creepy, so you wanting to know doesn't surprise me.
rallets 23
lol ok?
nikki9tails 3
Jess it's fml we are free to say anything, and I wanted to know more like the guy you called creep, it relates to the fml so don't get your g string in a twist
nikki9tails 3
Well doesn't matter if you think I don't have a handle on reality cause it's the net. I said what I wanted and so did almost nude pic sender and so did the so called creeper. And I will keep saying what I want and they should be allowed to say what they want. We are all different, different likes if you don't like to see that kind Shiz don't read it. Look the other way. lol at almost sending nude picture to family, that's hilarious. I'm done fml for the day
jess6blondie9 3
163, You tell me not to get my g-string in a knot; you might wanna check yours, because mine's fine(:
rallets 23
damn i missed it .. :P but i just wanted to say im not a horny boy .. im a horny man, so meh :P
rallets 23
.. cant even say a joke around here without some uptight prick saying something
jess6blondie9 3
If you're so worried about how people take your jokes, don't say them.
kykyshay 0
Seriously no one wants to hear that crap. And pervs like 128, go get a life!
rallets 23
ill say whatever jokes i want.. and im still confused on how im any kind of perv? it was a joke bitch, goddamn and i do have a life :D bring on the thumbs down :)
jess6blondie9 3
Does it make you feel better about your self to call a girl a bitch?
rallets 23
maaaaaaybe ;D
jess6blondie9 3
I feel sorry for you.
rallets 23
dont, im just fine :D
vanaathiel 13
Just send the right resume with an explanation. They might find it funny....that is until they read PRESIDENT of Canada and realize you're an idiot.
slantyshanty 7
I call that a win in my book.
vanaathiel 13
I'm too busying loling at your apparent invented language. Is that english?
xx_Lizzy_xx 3
hahahaha, you should still give it a try. Send the real resume and explain what happened, you might become something of a legend at work!
juleski21 0
President of Canada, WTF prime minister stupid
Drigr 9
Either you Canadians are a-holes or have no sense of humor.
Skatejock21 0
now how are we a-holes? at least we know how to find out that America has a president... and you guys can't even find the brains to know we have a Prime Minister. 55% of Americans don't know that the sun is a star... look who's the a-hole now.
Drigr 9
for not understanding that was part of a joke. or are gangsters actually certified in Canada? cause no one seems to be calling the OP an idiot for that.
Skatejock21 0
hahah uhmmm there is no such thing as a Canadian president... lol loser, I've lived in Canada my entire life. So I'm now supposed to say that there is the Prime Minister of the United States of America? hah wow... things they teach you guys.
OCDC 9
America is a triumvirate, run by Obama, Mickey Mouse, and Charlie Sheen. What are they teaching you in school these days?!
Skatejock21 0
well they actually teach us about the USA... where as they don't always teach you guys where Canada is, or the fact that it exists, seeing that it is never on the weather map on the TV there, whereas it is here. When people in the USA ask where I'm from... I tell them.. they're response: "where's that?" lol it speaks for itself.
AzWolf 5
If you are that ignorant to do something as stupid as that, you need to apply at McDonalds or someplace not requiring a resume.