Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I accidentally put down the wrong year for my university graduation, so when my prospective boss was checking my references he found no mention of my name in that year's list of graduates. He accused me of faking my qualifications and refused to hire me. It was a 6-figure salary. FML
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML
Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for a journalism job interview, asking for him to take a look and give opinions about it. I accidentally e-mailed it to the job interviewer. She responded, and even CCed it to the CEO. FML
Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
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Top comments
canadapresch 0
Your American boss probably won't know there is a Prime Minister of Canada.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Did ya get the job?(:
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Comments (319)
iewisokwas 0
well for one Canada don't have a president we have a prime minister and another are gangsters even certified??
DocBastard 40
Alan, stop misinforming these poor people. To become a Certified Gangster, you first have to go to a training course in Detroit followed by a qualifying written examination. If you pass, there is an oral and practical certification exam that is only offered annually. As for Canada, there IS a president. He has breakfast every morning with the Easter Bunny.
Sirin_fml 47
This reminds me of Skroal, for some reason.
FancyKnickers_fml 0
Or you can get "Honorary" Gangster by becoming a famous criminal or rapper. If you really want it, just get shot nine times.
rallets 23
what about "made men" in the mafia? thats one type of certified G.
BadKitty13 28
And the Tooth Fairy is a stripper.
riley322 0
"And now, a word from the Prime Minister! Damn it feels good to be a gangsta Gettin voted into the Gorffwysfa Everything lookin good to the people of the world But the mafia family is my boss"
mintcar 10
Sometimes fake and practice resumes should be treated like the real thing. And how did you mix the two up? YDI for not looking over your resume before turning it in. Maybe your potential boss might chuckle, understand and allow you to re-send the actual copy.
mintcar 10
Sometimes fake and practice resumes should be treated like the real thing. And how did you mix the two up? YDI for not looking over your resume before turning it in. Maybe your potential boss might chuckle, understand and allow you to re-send the actual copy.
dubst5p 5
At least your certified
jwoww17 0
lol win :P
Fangs_all_night 0
we don't have presidents in Canada; we have prime ministers. no wonder you sent the wrong one, stupid american
TheLetterZero 7
YDI for drinking! You wouldn't have made that mistake while sober!
kykyshay 0
Wrong FML.
TheLetterZero 7
Nope. I wrote this here on purpose.
TheLetterZero 7
Sorry, disregard that. My original comment was removed (for no good reason at all) and the reply was given to you.
N1welder 0
thats hilairious
Reddiii 0
Stfu ppl noone really cares about Canada in America lol
hot00frb 4
no one cares about Canada period lol
RedPillSucks 33
My Canadian girlfriend didn't get her period, and believe me, I cared a lot!!!
DocBastard 40
HAHAHAHAHA OMG ur so right like Canada is like totally lame!!! LOLOLOOOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOLZ No but seriously, to all Canadian FMLers out there, Reddiii does not speak for all of the United States, I'm sure. She's just a silly little Texan who tried to make a joke and ended up looking like an idiot while simultaneously offending 34 million people and one of the United States' BIGGEST ALLIES. We now return you to your regularly scheduled trolling.
fred88_fml 0
or america.
nikki9tails 3
Texan figures
SydsTheBoss 0
Reddiii does not speak for all Texans either!! I've been to Canada a few times and thoroughly enjoyed it up there (I prefer the weather for sure, I hate the heat down here)
cami197934 3
Ya free health care really sucks!! Loser
SoWrongItsAnde 0
how did you manage to screw that up?
Zebidee 9
Did you list 'attention to detail' as one of your strong points?