Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I accidentally put down the wrong year for my university graduation, so when my prospective boss was checking my references he found no mention of my name in that year's list of graduates. He accused me of faking my qualifications and refused to hire me. It was a 6-figure salary. FML
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, I was emailing a government employee at the place I'm hoping to get hired by. I realized too late I had been emailing her with my personal email address, which is rather jokey and unprofessional. She noticed and started referring to me as that. FML
Today, I emailed my fiancé the assignment that I was handed for a journalism job interview, asking for him to take a look and give opinions about it. I accidentally e-mailed it to the job interviewer. She responded, and even CCed it to the CEO. FML
Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
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Top comments
canadapresch 0
Your American boss probably won't know there is a Prime Minister of Canada.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Did ya get the job?(:
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Comments (319)
jordanprodigy023 0
Ahhahahaha this one made me lol
cararobertson_x 3
omg, this made me lol:)
m1ssophiebee 0
silly rabbit, :P there aren't any gangsters in Canada!
nikki9tails 3
Are you seriously saying that? or just playing the ignorant American tit?
doood25 0
did he call you
Patsoccer7 0
btw fag, it's prime minister of Canada
dt520 4
the only way this could get funnier is if he doesnt read it an hires you.
hellosir23 0
what's a resume?
noncomposmentis 6
What's a search engine?
hellosir23 0
I figured someone could tell me faster than I'd search it. also, I don't usually spend much free time searching resumes. explain then, o Holy Search Engine, what is a resume?
noncomposmentis 6
I don't usually spend much free time entertaining lazy people.
Zebidee 9
A resume is what you do to restart something that has been paused.
Zebidee 9
Thank Christ OP didn't call it a 'curriculum vitae' or we'd be here all night...
rallets 23
#107 you seriously copied the same thing from that other dude?
rallets 23
fmylife.com/miscellaneous/15185285 comment #8 i just noticed that it was a copyfail, meh :P
rallets 23
meh, still a copyfail bro.. maybe next time?
fred88_fml 0
you do know it wouldve been faster to type "resume" into google then asking what it was on here. and by the way its not a concussion you have, its brain damage.
rallets 23
youre a day late and a dollar short bro :P
fudgeeocookies 10
Dumb ass, you're in college and you don't know that Canada doesn't have a president. They have a PRIMINISTER!!!! Idiot fail.
vanaathiel 13
It's Prime Minister, not priminister Double Fail
NameTitleHere 0
Lool I did something similar.. saying that i work late shifts on the street and picking up chicks :D
NadiG7 2
LMBOOOOOOOOO... OHHHHHH MYYYY...THIS IS HILARIOUSSSS..... BUT IM SORRY 2 HEAR THAT LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....(*CERTIFIED GANGSTER*)