Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
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Top comments
bittersweets 2
on the other hand: how nice of her to think of your needs
calcboi 0
Maybe it's because you're SO big you hurt her, and weed is the only thing that relaxes her enough to make the pain go away. Lolz.
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Comments (104)
tonyspag 0
That's the funniest thing I've heard.
plexico 4
It took you two years to find out your wife's been smoking weed? It'll probably take you two more years to find that she is also smoking pole.
blarney 0
sucks to be you... and fugly
GrapefruitZoe 0
Weed is good. Makes sex good.
MeandSunnyD 0
ask her to smoke u up weed promotes marital bonding especially in the bedroom =)
tia73 0
that reminds me of my now ex best friend. who will only ever do anything as long as smokes first ;]
Fmelyfe 0
quit being a pussy and smoke it with her!! you will enjoy it better also!! 420!!!
LeedsFML 0
Just because something is legal, it doesn't make it right.
lalosaa 0
some of these just have to be fake, no one is so mean to say thatt.
brilliantbarbie 0
#28...I just have to say that although 2 years seems long, she could have gone 20...all things considered, she made the attempt to open the communication lines... But if she's hung up in general or just hates sleeping with HIM, why does she need to give HIM the freedom to fool around?? He didn't say "she never puts out and only does when she smokes pot once a year"... maybe his sex drive is the issue...or she needs to agree to a divorce??? So let me get this straight... because this man's wife admits she only has sex when shes high...she now needs to grant him a divorce or let him cheat on her??