Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bittersweets 2
on the other hand: how nice of her to think of your needs
calcboi 0
Maybe it's because you're SO big you hurt her, and weed is the only thing that relaxes her enough to make the pain go away. Lolz.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
_chrissy_ 0
I really don't think that's it. If she couldn't stand the thought of having sex with him, she wouldn't at all.
livelovelife01 0
oooh, now that's a burn. Annie Hall style burn. FYL.
Expresiva 0
HMmmm - interesting coping technique - at least you're getting laid - she could just refuse ...
DameGreyWulf 1
Ask her what is so wrong with your sex. FYL for marrying some twit who won't tell you what's wrong. Unless it's like 54 said, but I don't know much about that.
Weil 0
Why would she marry you?
kukopia 0
That's F'd up in multiple ways. How bad is your (plural) sex life that she knows when to toke up for it?!?!? No quickies in TWO years??!? At least now you know. I have to hope that you now also know what she doesn't like about sex with you and that it's something you (again, plural) can work on. Gotta agree that she deserves credit for doing what she feels she has to for you to have any sex at all. Can't vote either way on this one - not enough info given. It could be his fault...
some1hones 0
look at the bright side douchbag... she loves you and she been through all this for you
Exhumed91 0
Marijuana doesn't lower your inhibitions the same way alcohol does so this FML strikes me as odd....I being a guy wouldn't be any more likely to sleep with a fat girl when high...but weed does make sex more enjoyable
DameGreyWulf 1
That's probably what she meant, which is why I say to ask her what her deal is with him that she needs it enhanced. Is the "spark" gone? Need more excitement? Does he need a penis pump? Or sleeve? Or any toys in general? Does she need to tighten her vag? ASSSSssssk herrrr...
DameGreyWulf 1
... Which actually makes me wonder if the OPs ever take anything anyone has to say to heart. I mean, once they get past the silly comments that usually make it at the top.
timmi_shae 0
Damn guy... FYL!
lunaroseemh 0
time for marriage counseling, perhaps? or if you're feeling vengeful, turn her in to the cops.