Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
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Top comments
bittersweets 2
on the other hand: how nice of her to think of your needs
calcboi 0
Maybe it's because you're SO big you hurt her, and weed is the only thing that relaxes her enough to make the pain go away. Lolz.
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Comments (104)
angel19893 2
aww you poor thing, thats so sad, I'm aussie and i certainly wouldnt do that to my husband...
nerdlover 0
Maybe she has some sort of problem that causes sex to be painful for her(ie. my boyfriend has kidney cancer and has to smoke to dull the pain enough for us to do stuff) or past trauma that she can't help. Obviously she married you for a reason and why bother at all if she doesn't want to have sex with you. Stop worrying so much about your performance and talk to her about whats wrong instead of posting online like an insecure asshat.
DankJemo 0
Well, the good news is your wife smokes weed... The bad news is you're so bad at it, that it's a requirement. Stop sucking at sex, it's not that hard!
xXxAlex666xXx 7
*lol
blueflame 2
You just found out? You really wouldn't have been able to smell it on her? Or tell that she was high? You're an idiot. I know I wouldn't be able to bring myself to have sex with an idiot either. But I do apologize if you have some sort of condition where you cannot smell. But at least you're getting laid?
Egghaus 0
WHAT THE ****!
rohkeus 0
Hey 125 (blueflame) learn something before you preach. It is ridiculously easy to hide the smell, if you even have to hide it at all. Her being high would be harder... but yeah. At least he didn't get his first kiss when he was 56...
WingOfSin 0
maybe you deserved that, maybe you didn't. It's not her fault if you're bad in bed though
Seven47 0
wow man you suck
nlandcena 0
Repost fail.