Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML
Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
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Top comments
bittersweets 2
on the other hand: how nice of her to think of your needs
calcboi 0
Maybe it's because you're SO big you hurt her, and weed is the only thing that relaxes her enough to make the pain go away. Lolz.
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Comments (104)
Calaura9 0
Well, it is a lot better that way. Lol
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
That's a slap in the face for sure.
banananut 0
well 73, you just wasted your comment complaining about 59. hypocrite.
JarJarBinks_fml 0
How do you remain ignorant about this for 2 years?
JarJarBinks_fml 0
It's really sad that you have to reply to comments just so that yours are high up #10. Go submit an fml please
Iloveyencheck 0
actually #10 does actually have something to do with the first comment dumbass
MeandSunnyD 0
its really sad that u just wasted your comment complaining about #10 stop being annoying please
simplyfucked 0
its better when you smoke it up, honestly.
ifzombiesattack 0
you are entirely right. sex is so much better after smoking.
ManicGypsy 22
I can't believe that you had no idea. You had to have smelled it or something. YDI for being an idiot.
leavesofgrass 0
Sounds very Annie Hall.
star_ver 0
Lmao, pwnt. Better start working on your pipe skills, man.
brilliantbarbie 0
hahaha now THAT was brilliant!!!
aliabbiss 0
u must really suck
disney_blonde 16
How could you not smell that for 2 years?
saa994 0
That's what I was thinking. When someone smokes weed, their smell is a very strong scent. How do you NOT smell that? That's very weird. Did you think it was perfume or something?