Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues...

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 514

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 210

You deserved it 52 376

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 782

You deserved it 75 990

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 989

You deserved it 7 968

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 167

You deserved it 64 328

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 093

You deserved it 1 177

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 613

You deserved it 4 699

By burnt38392 - 24/12/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 19 553

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 166

You deserved it 12 523

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 15 127

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 27 489

boycrazy30007 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:31

I get being a pyro, but there is no excuse for being an idiot

ILoveEggnog 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:29

I really hate to say this, but you definitely deserved it.

Comments

tj4234 35

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:37

who are you? Captain caveman?

whosurdaddy123 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:39

BARGAIN!!!!!

mrsmall 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:42

You can't fix stupid... Or inbreeding...

IdfkMyUsernamexC 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:47

YDI. 'Nough said.

Driveshaft 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:00

So...you're just like that idiot moth, buzzing around my kitchen? Except you can't fly. So you're basically an idiot. YDI

katt_is_here 24

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:31

Okay, that made me laugh.

rogerusmc23 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:14

You my friend, are an idiot.

red1355 6

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:30

If you like fire that much. Stick you hand in a flame! Dumbass!! FYL!

chels1994 11

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:40

Wannabe pyro

aaron21a 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 6:45

Your pretty :)

highfashonlife 1

Wednesday 30 November 2011 14:20

Your an idiot!

RyNo24 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 14:59

Wow, yes paper does burn fast and incase you didn't know the sky is also blue... Wow...

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Cute Birthday Money Kids Health Love Awkward Weird Relatable Abuse Social Media Scams Parents Education School Anger issues Teenagers Family Miscellaneous Capitalism Relationship advice Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 371

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in, in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It's the Pokémon theme song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 070

You deserved it 81 577

Today, it has been a year and a half since my boyfriend discovered online poker. Annoyed to see him spending every evening playing on his laptop, I threatened him: “Now honey, you have to choose. It’s your poker or me!” Answer: “You are bluffing!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 159

You deserved it 13 058

Today, I had to take my parents to the hospital after a failed attempt at a Kamasutra position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 59

Today, I checked for the third time this week if my package that 'arrived' five days ago had been found. Not only was it a different employee at the concierge desk, meaning I had to explain everything again, but they told me the same bullshit about how it's "not their fault". The package is my new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 757

You deserved it 320

Today, all of my friends showed up an hour late for my 18th birthday party because they decided to go get dinner without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 344

You deserved it 280

Same thing different taste

Close but no cigar

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