By SpontaneousAM - United States - Pittsburgh Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML I agree, your life sucks 4026 You deserved it 1134 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Benchthewarmer - United States Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML I agree, your life sucks 42665 You deserved it 3575 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML I agree, your life sucks 32329 You deserved it 2095 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JudasThePriest - United States - Greensboro Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML I agree, your life sucks 51446 You deserved it 3197 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By squirrel - United States Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML I agree, your life sucks 12848 You deserved it 42370 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ilovemom - United States Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 33156 You deserved it 6619 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By conductingfromthegrave - United States Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML I agree, your life sucks 55214 You deserved it 4545 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Twitchy - Bahamas Today, I watched a cat pounce on a small bird and rip it to shreds, feather by feather. It wouldn't have been any worse than mildly disturbing, had I not just spent the last 4 weeks nursing the bird back to health from a broken wing. FML I agree, your life sucks 32665 You deserved it 3132 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dumbfounded - United States - Los Angeles Today, I had to calm down an angry customer who claimed one of my employees had "traumatized" her dog. Apparently her dog is really OCD and my employee didn't line up the dog bed at the right angle. She threatened to report us to the BBB. How do these morons even exist? FML I agree, your life sucks 14120 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1337 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/8/2020 06:02 - United States - Roy Make the day about me! Today, at my wedding, my grandmother special requested a wheelchair, even though she doesn’t and never has needed any kind of assistance walking or standing at all. FML I agree, your life sucks 1048 You deserved it 164 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML I agree, your life sucks 40086 You deserved it 5010 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML I agree, your life sucks 49012 You deserved it 12586 653 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Denmark - Aarhus Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML I agree, your life sucks 40562 You deserved it 3642 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Chicago Ridge Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML I agree, your life sucks 53632 You deserved it 7431 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML I agree, your life sucks 24747 You deserved it 2606 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pelly - Belgium - Kasterlee Today, my grandma told everyone I'm using steroids and amphetamines, all because she mistook my protein powder and vitamin pills for drugs. FML I agree, your life sucks 12794 You deserved it 1010 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By octoberrain - United States Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML I agree, your life sucks 25400 You deserved it 3641 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kaitlyna15 - United States - Bellevue Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML I agree, your life sucks 27875 You deserved it 1785 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brookie Bear Today, I received a Saturday detention because the assignment I'd handed in had different handwriting. I've been practicing my handwriting skills for the past month. FML I agree, your life sucks 4995 You deserved it 424 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleekRelease Today, I was expecting an important delivery for a party I'm having tonight. I was in the shower when the doorbell rang. In my haste, I slipped and ended up with a bunch of little cuts and bruises. Turns out, it was someone trying to leave a note saying it would be delivered tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 1650 You deserved it 160 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LibraryPedo - United States - Chino Hills Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 49823 You deserved it 4038 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bluewinter - United Kingdom Today, I went to my best friend's birthday party. After about 15 minutes, I noticed a girl, possibly one of his sister's friends, wearing the same shirt as me. I am a 23 year old bloke. She didn't look a day over 14. FML I agree, your life sucks 38036 You deserved it 9680 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By leem - Belgium - Zoersel Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41468 You deserved it 3195 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By robertsonjimmy - United States Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 50512 You deserved it 12761 264 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML I agree, your life sucks 11595 You deserved it 23134 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was prescribed medicine for anxiety. Without it, my stomach churns all day. With it, I shake uncontrollably and my eyes twitch. Now I have to choose between diarrhea and rude stares from people in public. FML I agree, your life sucks 30815 You deserved it 2988 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By momma - Canada - Toronto Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML I agree, your life sucks 50892 You deserved it 3695 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/9/2020 10:01 Bonjour! Today, in a job interview I confirmed I could speak French, as I lived in France for 6 years and became fluent, but I was so nervous that when my interviewer started speaking French, I froze up and the entire French language exited my brain like it was escaping a fire. I was kicked out for lying. FML I agree, your life sucks 1315 You deserved it 219 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sully - United States Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 11643 You deserved it 23048 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By need2eat - United States Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML I agree, your life sucks 54737 You deserved it 5568 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymus - Canada - Toronto Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML I agree, your life sucks 31098 You deserved it 2211 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frankkathy - United States Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML I agree, your life sucks 34312 You deserved it 19350 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/10/2020 15:02 - Estonia I don't wanna Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML I agree, your life sucks 1001 You deserved it 302 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By musicman2005 - United States Today, I was at work, about to go to lunch. There were some girl scouts out front selling cookies. I told my manager that I would be using a different exit, and when he asked why, I told him that girl scouts really annoy the crap out of me. The girl scouts out front were his daughters. FML I agree, your life sucks 23880 You deserved it 64333 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Remus Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 44408 You deserved it 7167 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 6/2/2020 18:00 Yes or No? Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML I agree, your life sucks 2763 You deserved it 290 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By massachusettsan - United States - Monomoy Island Guitar Porn Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML I agree, your life sucks 44467 You deserved it 8874 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/7/2020 20:00 Let me in! Today, I was turned away from a private event by security for being a girl. My name is Max; the name on the guest list was Max, but the security meathead insisted Max can only be a man's name and threw me out of the building. I was the event's key lecturer, and without me the event was cancelled. FML I agree, your life sucks 2036 You deserved it 156 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML I agree, your life sucks 24435 You deserved it 2136 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - France Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 31808 You deserved it 3515 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kissrocks4 - United States - Sacramento Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML I agree, your life sucks 22371 You deserved it 3146 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ashilyy24 | 8 #7439512 - Saturday 15 April 2017 20:58 YDI for moving it while it's hot. Send a private message 22 2 Reply
By C8H18 | 33 #7439536 - Saturday 15 April 2017 21:56 What possessed you to think it was a good idea to move it while it was hot? Send a private message 14 5 Reply
By ashilyy24 | 8 #7439512 - Saturday 15 April 2017 20:58 YDI for moving it while it's hot. Send a private message 22 2 Reply
By C8H18 | 33 #7439536 - Saturday 15 April 2017 21:56 What possessed you to think it was a good idea to move it while it was hot? Send a private message 14 5 Reply
By TellyJ34 | 10 #7439677 - Sunday 16 April 2017 3:41 I bet it's going to smell quite nice for a while Send a private message 3 1 Reply
By Mae342 | 25 #7439689 - Sunday 16 April 2017 4:56 paper towel and a clothes iron will get it out? Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By Stiggy626 | 25 #7533711 - Friday 25 August 2017 10:52 ever think about turning it off before you try and move it, stupid? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 289 You deserved it 34 2 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 428 You deserved it 331 5 Comments