Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues...

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 514

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 210

You deserved it 52 376

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 782

You deserved it 75 990

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 989

You deserved it 7 968

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 167

You deserved it 64 328

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 093

You deserved it 1 177

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 613

You deserved it 4 699

By burnt38392 - 24/12/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 19 553

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 166

You deserved it 12 523

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 15 127

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 27 489

boycrazy30007 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:31

I get being a pyro, but there is no excuse for being an idiot

ILoveEggnog 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:29

I really hate to say this, but you definitely deserved it.

Comments

brianod 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 10:49

no as bad as my friend. he light cans of deo in his room

hyden121 2

Wednesday 30 November 2011 10:57

Good job idiot...

noodlepoodle96 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 11:14

Lol

alaskanhybrid 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 11:27

SMH YDI

strokesie 23

Wednesday 30 November 2011 11:34

This is why we don't give fire to pyromaniacs..

pondermuse 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 11:41

What intrigues me is your lack of common sense. YDI.

LennyComa 39

Wednesday 30 November 2011 11:59

Ydi pyromanic

skull4y 2

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:20

There's a fine line between curiosity and idiocity.

mojojojo91 6

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:22

Is it just me or is there a streak of people doing things they deserved lately? You definitely deserved it, genius.

terran36 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:36

How old are u, 5 years old?!?! Who isn't smart enough to know that

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Birthday Money Kids Cute Health Love Weird Awkward Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Education Parents School Anger issues Teenagers Family Miscellaneous Relationship advice Capitalism Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 088

You deserved it 18 231

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 195

The Top

Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish the job. Welcome to Russia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 90

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 207

You deserved it 7 792

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 304

You deserved it 5 873

Today, after having my car's oil changed, I asked the girl at the front desk for her number and she gave it to me, so I was excited all day. That night I texted her and she asked who it was and I told her my name, then she told me she gave her number out to a lot of customers, so she didn’t remember me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 895

Today, I called off work saying my Great Grandmother died. A co-worker texted me later asking where and when the funeral was. I made up a lie and said some random funeral home and date. My co-workers sent flowers to the funeral home for condolences. The flowers were returned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 211

You deserved it 94 141

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 423

You deserved it 3 720

Same thing different taste

Close but no cigar

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